Making friends solo is hard enough without having to factor in the dynamics of how your partners may get along, which, sometimes, may be a little too well.

What would you do if your husband became friends with the ex-husband of one of your friends?

Would you encourage their friendship, or would you tell him they can’t be friends?

One woman recently asked for insight on this tricky situation.

Let’s read the whole story.

AITA for “allowing” my husband to hang out with a friend’s ex?

When I (36f) first moved to my state three years ago, there was a child in the area that was about my son’s age.

For the first year, the child’s mom (32f) and I tried to be friends.

We hung out a couple of times without kids, but we really didn’t have enough in common to click.

Some friends make better acquaintances

Over the past year and a half, we have only seen each other about 5 times at various birthday parties and events.

We were always friendly and considered each other friends, but several of my texts went unanswered, which didn’t really bother me.

I figured our friendship had evolved to its final state of mom friends who hugged at birthday parties and forgot each other the rest of the time.

The other mom was a single mom.

This mom, who I will call Nancy for the sake of this post, has only one child with her ex.

Her and her ex, “Andy” (33?m), have been split since their son was only a few months old, over 5 years ago.

In the beginning, their relationship was contentious. She explained that he was emotionally abusive and would get very angry and she could not be in a relationship with him.

She talked excessively about how hard she worked at getting over him and has been in and out of a few relationships since I’ve known her.

Her husband clicked with Andy.

About 6 months into knowing them, Andy started coming to birthday parties and other events.

During this time, my husband (40m) got to know him a little.

They have quite a lot in common. They work in the same field, love to hike and off-road, and are both members of a widespread duck vehicle cult.

Andy has plans with her husband again.

Today, my husband and Andy decided to get together and head into the mountains to do some off roading with our sons. (Sons are 5 and 6.)

When my husband first mentioned these plans, I went to text Nancy about it. She had recently gotten back from a trip and I texted her asking how it went and she never responded.

When I remembered she doesn’t often respond, I decided to not bother.

This morning, when my husband left, I texted her what their plans were. Just seeing if she would respond. I was excited about the boys being able to see each other.

This is a lot to expect.

And she did respond.

She wrote several scrolls worth of text, basically saying I have betrayed her by allowing my husband to hang out with her ex.

That I am not a loyal friend and she can no longer speak to me.

She said that she considered my husband and I as one person, and that his hanging out with Andy is a betrayal on my part.

Her perspective sort of makes sense.

“It feels like a betrayal that you or your husband (I see you as one since you’re married” would want to entertain/foster any kind of relationship with my ex.”

I can understand having big feelings about this to an extent. But not so much to completely attack my character.

So, AITA for “allowing” my husband to hang out with a friend’s ex?

Sounds like this poster is maybe a bit clueless. Let’s see if Reddit agreed.

The results were pretty polarizing.

Some had no sympathy for Nancy at all.

Others held space for more nuance.

Though some noted that it was a gray area.

Friendships can be really complicated.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.