Neighborhoods are supposed to be for everyone who lives there, and HOAs are in place to make sure everyone is safe and happy.

Unfortunately, some people feel entitled to every space and don’t like to follow the rules.

In this story, a young lifeguard has the unfortunate experience of dealing with a certified “karen”.

Let’s dive in and hear what happened…

This isn’t your pizza ma’am

In our area there are no zoning laws so we have homeowners associations (HOA). That way a bar can’t be built next door to your dream house.

You pay an annual fee and there amenities like maybe a park and a pool. The HOA contracts with a company for lifeguarding and pool cleaning to avoid liability.

Let’s meet our cast of characters…

LG- my daughter the lifeguard

Lifeguard- any other lifeguards working that day

Karen- she’s lived her forever and getting YOU fired

KH- Karen’s hubby

Jr- Karen’s 4 yr old son

IF- innocent family

Setting: it’s a beautiful summer morning in Pool wonderland. Children laughing and splashing and several lifeguards including my daughter sitting on her throne of peace and tranquility. Pool wonderland has some new rules this summer:

No going down the water slide with a child in your lap.

No non-swimwear in the pool.

If you happen to require a head covering of any kind it must be swim wear material. This is an important detail for later.

Lets enter the first scene…

Karen: KH take jr down the water slide.

KH: sure thing!

Lifeguard atop the slide: sorry sir no children riding in your lap, we do apologize, it’s a new rule this year.

KH: hey no problem.

Jr: disappointed but not an unruly little thing.

Karen: what the heck? That’s rude!

Jr: beginning to cry as I assume this tone signals to Jr that once again mommy is gonna lose it.

KH: it’s no big deal.

Karen: now addressing LG why can’t my son go down the waterslide with his dad?

LG: (explains the rules and Karen doesn’t like it but complies in a huff)

Now, scene two…

IF shows up and orders pizza. They have a small family birthday party which was scheduled in advance with tables reserved.

Many of the women are wearing what I understand to be Muslim swimwear- appropriate fabric for the pool and covers much of the body including a hijab.

IF decides to get in the pool. Karen also gets in the pool wearing a tshirt and some shorts.

LG: ma’am I’m sorry but you will have to get out of the pool. You can’t wear that in the water.

Karen: excuse me I pay for the privilege to swim here and you cannot tell ME what to wear.

LG: it’s a new rule this year we can’t allow people to wear cotton fibers in the water because it messes up the plumbing.

Karen: what about THEM (she says disgustedly referring to the ladies in the IF) if I have to get out so they THEY.

LG: (now realizing she’s dealing with a racist) Ma’am they are wearing swim wear, you are not.

Karen: we’ll see about that.

At this point Karen is now being told by the lifeguard supervisor on duty being told the same thing. Nice try Karen!

And finally, scene three…

Pizza arrives. There are 4 and drinks and breadsticks. Karen gets up and takes the pizza which was paid for already I imagine as no money changed hands. Not even for a tip. #%*!!!!

Karen juggles all this to her table and sticks her legs in the water on the side of the pool.

Another pizza arrives and the IF is approached by a lifeguard as they were expecting a delivery. IF says no that isn’t ours. We ordered 4 pizzas and drinks and breadsticks from <not that pizza place>.

LG looks around and sees <gasp> 4 pizzas and drinks and breadsticks on Karen’s table.

LG to IF: I bet I know who this belongs to, let me help you! <she’s thrilled after Karen has been such a nasty b#%!*>

she didn’t even say anything. LG walked to the table, set the pizza down and helped the IF carry the 4 pizzas and drinks and breadsticks.

Karen: EXCUSE ME WHERE DO YOU THINK YOURE GOING WITH OUR FOOD?

LG: this pizza isn’t your pizza ma’am. She has the order on her phone matching the pizza place and the order. Your pizza was delivered a moment ago and on your table.

Karen glances back in confusion covering her embarrassment (it wasn’t even the same delivery place) with pure rage now yelling at LG and demanding the police be called.

LG: why would you call the police?

Karen: you have been harassing me all day and I know you have been staring at my son! I have lived here for years and I’m going to the HOA board to have you fired!

LG: laughs nervously and turns and walks back to her stand.

(My daughter has bad anxiety and for years, she’s perfected a stonewall exterior where you think she doesn’t care but she will cry later because I mean she’s human).

Karen is trailing behind and yelling expletives now.

Karen proceeds to use her phone camera to video my daughter hoping to catch her doing what… I don’t even know I mean she’s literally paid to watch and scan patrons of the pool. That’s most of your job as a lifeguard.

By the end of the day the police have been called because Karen insisted the staff was out of line.

Finally!

Karen’s disruptive behavior has actually bothered other patrons (mostly the IF) as ugly comments about swim wear were overheard and made them uncomfortable.

It was following guards and taking cell phone video that actually got Karen and her family kicked out.

Many lifeguards are minors and this made the staff uncomfortable. Not to mention it’s ludicrous to be distracting a first responder from their job.

Karen did not return to the pool for the remainder of the summer. Not because she was banned.

Hopefully she went home and looked in the mirror and was too embarrassed by her behavior.

Let’s get into the comments…

This person has sympathy for the lifeguard.

This person had a quippy comment!

This commenter has a theory for why the Karen stayed away.

And this person hopes she learned her lesson!

This woman ruined a lovely day at the pool… hopefully she never returns!

If you liked that post, check this one about a guy who got revenge on his condo by making his own Christmas light rules.