When you get married, you should want to spend time with your spouse, especially for important days like birthdays.

What would you do if your husband would regularly leave to see his family in another town, but not even invite you.

That is what happens to the wife in this story, and now he said he was going on his birthday so she wouldn’t even get to see him, and she feels betrayed.

AITA – Husbands birthday was today.

Background: I moved to his country to be with him. Most of the time I’ve been alone.

Life can be very difficult when extended family likes to cause trouble.

Extra background: My husband’s controlling family hates me for no reason and it’s half the reason our marriage is failing. (And no, it’s not a race thing because his brother’s wife is the same as me except they treat her like a princess.)

Well, what did he do?

Last month: Husband ruined my birthday.

Now: Today was my husband’s birthday.

At least she still wants him to have a good day.

I really value special days, including birthdays. Despite what happened last month on my birthday, I wanted to spend my husband’s birthday with him and have a good day with him.

He has a terrible habit of doing whatever his family wants and often (really often) leaves to see them in another city for a couple days at a time.

It’s caused a lot of trouble in our marriage and so because of that, maybe the past 2 months he hasn’t as much.

Leaving is one thing, but not even telling her until the last moment is unacceptable.

He also has a terrible habit of not telling me things like this until that last moment. Like, a day before or the day of.

He mentioned 2 days ago he may have to go there for work sometime this week but wouldn’t know until he talked about it today and told me he wouldn’t be going this day (I obviously assumed it was a ploy for his birthday as well, given the timing.)

So, he will be gone for his birthday?

Today rolls around and he tells me he is actually going to leave today and be gone for 3 days (so I was right, and it felt like he lied because he’s pulled stuff like this before.)

I got upset.

I certainly can’t blame her for feeling betrayed.

Although I want him to spend his birthday doing what he enjoys, I can’t help feeling betrayed, left out, and hurt.

His family didn’t invite me (again, they hate me for no reason, so I don’t necessarily even want to go if they did, however, that’s not the point.)

Yeah, him choosing his family over his wife is unacceptable.

It also really hurts that it doesn’t even bother him and that he didn’t even care that we wouldn’t be spending his day together and with his wife by his side.

I just feel like this is how my life is always going to be.

Without more context, it is safe to assume this is true.

Being constantly ostracized and always having to battle between his family for his time, especially on special occasions like holidays and birthdays.

I’ve been spiraling all day and have had to ignore his brief “I love you” texts he sent because the way I see it, he doesn’t. (There’s other issues, but this is today’s.)

AITA?

It is really hard to judge this situation because there isn’t nearly enough context. Going only by what she wrote here, she has every right to be hurt and feel betrayed.

Let’s see what the people in the comments have to say about it.

Yup, the husband is the problem.

Good question.

This really is a sad situation.

This person says she should get a divorce.

This commenter says he doesn’t love her anymore.

Sadly, he doesn’t love her anymore.

If you liked that story, check out this post about a group of employees who got together and why working from home was a good financial decision.