If you don’t live near your extended family, you might consider staying with your extended family when you travel to visit them, such as during the holidays. But sometimes it’s better to stay at a hotel.

Would you be offended if you were traveling to visit family for the holidays and they told you that you couldn’t stay with them, or would you be perfectly happy to stay at a hotel and just visit during the day?

In this story, one pregnant mom doesn’t want to offend her sister-in-law, but she also doesn’t want her to stay at her house.

Let’s read the whole story.

AITA: I don’t want SIL to stay with us over Christmas with new baby

Background: So, as with many people out there, I have not had a great relationship with my sister in law (SIL). Since meeting her, we have butted heads over many issues, which have resulted in unpleasant family trips and holidays.

I feel she has been rude and disrespectful to me on many topics, most painful of which is the fact that my husband and I care for her mother (my MIL) full-time.

Their mother has early-onset Alzheimer’s, and we moved her to our city (despite her living near my SIL previously), to take care of her full-time.

She has lived in our house for the past 3 years, and we provide around-the-clock care for her advanced dementia.

The SIL doesn’t help at all.

My SIL has never offered assistance, financial or otherwise, for her own mother.

When we travel together, she doesn’t help care for her mother, and my husband and I end up doing it.

She continually questions her condition and tells us we should just stick her in a nursing home.

When she does visit or call, we get criticism and critiques of how we should be caring for my MIL better.

I’d be offended too.

This is personally offensive to me, not only for someone telling me how to run my house, but that we have given her own mother a great life, and she should be offering help and gratitude, not telling us what to do differently when she shows up once or twice a year.

I truly don’t mind that we do 100% of the care for her mother, but I don’t want criticism for how we do it.

When a conflict with my SIL arises, my husband does not step in, mediate, or defend me from his sister’s attacks.

I’m glad she put her foot down.

When my SIL visits my city to see her mother, my husband wants to let her stay in our house.

Last time I put my foot down and said no, because I was 5 months pregnant and my own mother was just diagnosed with terminal cancer, so I have been very overwhelmed.

She didn’t stay in our home, and that visit went ok.

It’s too bad her husband doesn’t have her back.

Now SIL wants to visit for the upcoming holidays, and my husband wants to let her stay in our house.

I am still nervous about this, because if a conflict does arise, my husband won’t support me, and I will be uncomfortable in my own house.

I am currently 8 months pregnant, and the baby will be 6 weeks old during her visit over the holidays.

She really has a lot of stressful stuff going on.

I am very nervous to agree to let someone I have had so much difficulty with stay in my house, especially when I will have a newborn baby, and am still going through absolute hell with my mother’s cancer situation.

Supporting my parents through this time has been devastating, on top of being pregnant and caring for my MIL.

I’m trying to be protective of my mental health and the well-being of my new family.

A hotel is a good solution.

I am happy to spend time with her and try to improve our relationship over time.

She can take her mother out as much as she wants, meet our new baby, I just don’t want her staying in our house in case an issue arises.

FWIW she has enough money to stay at a hotel no problem.

AITA for telling my husband my SIL can’t stay with us during the holidays?

She’s not being unreasonable to want her SIL to stay in a hotel.

Let’s see how Reddit reacted to this story.

Having a newborn in the house is the only excuse she needs.

This is a good point!

Seriously, her husband needs to stand up for her.

Here’s a recommendation to have a serious conversation with her husband.

No new parent wants to deal with house guests.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.