Sometimes kids are raised with very little responsibility of their own, which can lead to them being unprepared for adulthood.

What would you do if you had an adult nephew who was very immature and wanted to learn independence?

That is what the aunt in this story had, so she refused to coddle to his every need, and now her sister is upset that she wasn’t helping him.

AITA for not coddling my nephew

My 24 year old nephew is staying with my MIL and FIL to learn how to take care of himself.

My husband, our kids (23, 21, 18), and I live a mile away from them.

Wow, he must have been very spoiled as a child.

My nephew is very coddled. At 24, he’s never held a job, doesn’t drive, doesn’t cook, doesn’t know how to do his laundry, and has no social skills.

He’s been here for almost a month and for someone here to learn independence, he’s not very independent.

Doing this for him kind of defeats the purpose.

He’s calling me and my kids daily to ask us to take him to one specific mall 15 miles away when there’s a perfectly fine one 2 miles away, across the street from a bus stop, he wants us to drive him to the grocery store a half mile away because it’s too cold to walk (50 degrees).

We put up with it for the first couple weeks but lately we’ve been agreeing to drives if one of us is already going in that direction. If not we suggest uber, walking, or the bus.

That was nice to invite him.

My older 2 kids went to a party on Friday night and they invited him to go with them. I use the word party very loosely.

There were 15 people building gingerbread houses, playing white elephant, and a Mario kart tournament. No drinking, no loud music. The party was at my cousins house an hour and a half away.

What is wrong with this guy?

My nephew agreed to go, then 20 minutes in started texting me asking how long this party would last, then saying he was overwhelmed and only expected 2 or 3 people to be there, complaining that my kids wouldn’t take him home, then asking me to pick him up.

I told him that he agreed to go and that if he heard party and expected 3 people, that’s on him, so if he couldn’t handle being there he could either uber or take a train.

Well, that is a lesson learned I guess.

He wasn’t willing to do either so he sat in the living room and waited for my kids to be ready to go.

He told my SIL about us refusing rides and me not picking him up from the party so she called me furious that we’re treating him like this and that he chose to come out here because he’d have support while learning to be independent.

Not treating him like a child is kind of the whole point.

I told her that learning to be independent means learning to do stuff by himself and that I don’t plan to coddle a grown man. If my kids can figure it out so can he.

Now she’s mad that I’m refusing to support her son learning independence and that family is supposed to be better than this.

AITA?

If anything, they are still doing to much for him. Sometimes you have to let people sink or swim on their own. He’ll figure it out.

Let’s see what the people in the comments have to say about it.

You know this is right.

Very accurate.

This commenter is right.

This seems spot on.

Yup, the sister is a horrible parent.

He’ll never grow up if he is constantly catered to.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.