Sometimes saying no isn’t that bad of an idea!

This user shares how he couldn’t dog sit for his in-laws because his wife was due in a few days.

But the air got a bit thick when he decided to say no…

AITAH for refusing to dog sit for my MIL father’s funeral 9 days before my wife’s due date

My wife is currently 8 months pregnant with our first child and we are both very anxious about the pregnancy, labor and becoming new parents.

Things escalated out of nowhere!

My wife’s maternal grandfather very suddenly and tragically passed away a week ago which has been very hard on everyone involved, but obviously my mother-in-law the most.

We live near Reading in the UK and my parents-in-law live around 3 1/2 hours away in Devon.

The funeral is located where my mother-in-law grew up in Birmingham which is around 3 1/2 hours away from their house and around 2 1/2 hours from our house.

UH OH…

My wife’s brother lives on the Isle of Wight and my wife’s sister lives in a rental accommodation in London, so it is not practical for either of them to dog sit.

My wife and I have looked after my parents-in-laws dog(s) on several occasions in the past including for two previous family funerals and holidays etc. and are typically very happy to do so and have likely set a precedent.

We have a cat which we need to shut out of the house in the garage conversion whenever we look after their dog because they don’t get along, which I always feel a bit bad about.

We also have a dog (who gets on with the cat) and my parents-in-law have returned the favor several times looking after our dog for us, but we also have a large network of people who have said they will dog sit for us, and have got a professional dog sitter, which was a key part of our decision into getting the dog in the first place.

This is going to get bad…

I returned home recently to hear that my parents-in-law had organized with my wife that they would come to stay with us two days before the funeral.

They would then drive up the day before to help sort out the funeral and then come back to stay with us again the evening of the funeral and go home the next day.

They requested that we looked after their dog and went to and from the funeral on the same day so that it wouldn’t be left long.

We would also temporarily host my wife’s brother, his partner and child, and my wife’s sister so we (everyone except parents-in-law) would all travel to the funeral together.

UH OH…

My parents-in-law said that if anything changed with the pregnancy ahead of time they would sort out alternate arrangements and not visit, but since it is unlikely that anything would happen during that time, we would probably be able to help them out.

I have messaged them both to explain and taken full ownership of the decision. In my opinion I feel that it was unfair of them to expect this of us.

I personally think it is reasonable that given it is our first time and our collective anxiety around the pregnancy, that we are allowed to be completely unencumbered for the couple of weeks before and after the due date.

We would then if anything happened, or labor started, or even if we had a false positive, be able to grab the bags and head straight to the hospital immediately.

That’s INSANE!

The cat would already be safe in the house and the dog would be fine until one of our friends or family nearby came to collect him.

Their argument is that nothing is likely to happen with the pregnancy during that time, they don’t trust leaving their dog with anyone but family, and given the shock of her father passing away, it is reasonable for us to help them our since no one else can.

It is also a point of issue that they now live a long way from the funeral and would like to be able to break-up the drive and be able to set-up the funeral the day before without having to go back and forth on consecutive days.

They were not expecting that!

My wife is also extremely house proud so hosting people would not be as simple as a roof for a couple of nights. She would feel that we need to clean the whole house just before their arrival and prepare meals for them.

This obviously isn’t something that my parents-in-law would expect us to do, but I would argue that they know my wife’s thoughts on hosting.

Further info. My parents-in-law won’t use professional dog sitters, or kennels and they don’t feel that they have any friends nearby who they would feel comfortable dog sitting or taking the dog.

He’s confused about the whole situation!

The disagreement has already deeply upset my wife and annoyed her parents, who all think that I am being unreasonable. I have tried my best to present this in an unbiased way, but no doubt haven’t succeeded perfectly in this.

If I’m being honest with myself I’ve been preparing to have to take a firm line with my parents-in-law after (in my opinion) they weren’t very respectful of boundaries put in place by my wife’s brother when they had their first child, so may have been a little too quick to anger about this.

Thanks a lot

YIKES! That’s a bit confusing…

Why would the couple not have a conversation amongst themselves first?

Let’s find out how people on Reddit reacted to this one.

This user knows this couple needs to have a conversation first.

This user knows the family can take the dog with them.

This user knows it is rude to ask a pregnant wife to work more!

This user shares some facts about pregnancy.

This user knows this guy has every right to say no to dog sitting!

Someone’s stressing a bit too much.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.