When you marry someone, you don’t just marry their good characteristics and who they are in the best of times.

You are also vowing to accept them at their worst, to accept their baggage and – unfortunately for some – to accept the family that they come with as well.

That doesn’t mean to say that you have to love them, but you have to understand what you’re getting into at least.

The guy in this story accepts the fact that his fiancée has a difficult relationship with her family – and at this important moment in their lives, he has found out exactly why things are so strained.

Read on to find out more.

AITA for not including my fiancée’s family in the proposal?

I am a 26-year-old man, and this week I proposed to my amazing girlfriend (26, female) of three years.

These last three years I have spent time with her, and time with her family through family holidays, engagements, and visiting their home weekly.

One of my girlfriend’s initial requests for the proposal was to include her family in some form, due to the importance of them in her life.

So three months back, I visited her home while she was not there and asked for their blessing.

Let’s see how this meeting with her family turned out.

I received their blessing, and was excited. I brought up proposal ideas, my main one being having her family join mine in secret (even though our families have not met much) to surprise her before I get on my knee and ask the question.

Her family did give some other recommendations, which I did not go with due to wanting to make sure my girlfriend had no idea I was going to propose – I felt taking her to places we don’t normally go such as a park or beach would be too obvious.

I also did lean towards having it towards my home due to space, and then we would not have to worry about decorations or preparing – but I let her family know that if they would prefer to have it at their home that was okay too.

At the time I felt the vibes were great, and I was looking forward to the coming months.

But all did not go as smoothly as he might’ve hoped.

The next time I tried to reach out to for a date, I was met with the message that the holidays are too close, and because of health concerns we should push it back – which I accepted and delayed.

When January arrived I reached out again, but was met with silence.

Then a week later I proposed dates that I thought could work. I was met with a response from her mother stating that the date I suggested would not work because my fiancé’s nephew had baseball that Saturday and the other Saturdays that month won’t work either.

She concluded the text saying to “Go ahead and just do it without us.” I responded mentioning this is disappointing to me, but I didn’t want to wait any longer as I felt that me and my girlfriend are both ready to take this next step.

Read on to find out how he proceeded.

So I proposed two weeks later. I did not include her or my own family during the proposal and I took her to a lovely spot and proposed.

The day was special to us both and we both felt went great. But that night when we went to give the news to her family, we were both met with dismissive responses.

The next day was worse. I came to find out that her mom sat down with my now fiancée and explained that I did not put any effort into including her family.

She said that I have not been present in their home and around them during the relationship, and they should have been included in the proposal.

Uh-oh. And the slander didn’t stop there.

They have also continued to now insult my character, my fiancée’s decisions (this is what upsets me the most), and they are refusing to speak to me so I can’t even explain or defend myself.

I also found out that her whole family was free the Sunday and Monday of the proposal.

Things have always been strained between my fiancée and her mom, and I want my fiancée to be celebrated the way she deserves.

AITA?

It’s quite clear that whatever her motives, this woman’s mom is not a good person.

She’s lying, she’s conniving to ruin her daughter’s relationship, and she has been difficult through the whole thing.

This is not a nice way to treat anyone, let alone your daughter.

Let’s see what folks on Reddit made of this.

This person called out the mom’s behavior.

And others encouraged him to pay attention to the way his fiancée responds.

While this Redditor encouraged him to consider his options.

It is not the fault of the daughter that her mother is so manipulative, and encouraging him to rethink the proposal seems a bit harsh on the daughter, who is a victim here.

That is, as long as she sees the evidence and sides with her fiancé here. If she sides with her family, that’s not a good sign.

Things are going to get rough in this family sooner or later, if the mom is deliberately sabotaging every happy moment – and they need to be ready for that.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.