She stopped shaving her armpits years ago for practical reasons: sensitive skin, rashes, and the simple fact that it’s more comfortable for her.

Her friends have always known this about her, it’s never been a secret, and it’s never been about making a statement.

But when she accepted an invite to their destination wedding in Mexico, a casual conversation about dress codes suddenly turned into an accusation.

WIBTA if I refused to shave my armpits for my friends wedding?

BACKGROUND: So I (26f) stopped shaving my armpits a few years ago and found that I greatly prefer not having bald armpits.

I’m a sweaty person, and having hair prevents my pits from getting swampy and sweating off every single deodorant/antiperspirant known to mankind. I also have sensitive skin and get horrible rashes and razor burn from shaving.

My decision to not shave my armpits is primarily personal, but I am aware that it is going against a societal/gender norm, and is therefore inherently political or subject to being politicized. Under no circumstances though am I refusing to shave solely to make a political statement.

Totally.

ISSUE: My friends are getting married next summer, and they’ve invited me to their wedding. It’s also a destination wedding, and many of the wedding party events will involve wearing a swimsuit or clothes that expose my armpit hair, as it will be summer in Mexico.

I asked about dress codes for the various events, and both the bride and groom said they won’t be strict about dress codes as long as everyone is “well groomed.”

I figured I knew what that meant considering I do work a professional job, but then they took this conversation as an opportunity to warn me that some other wedding guests may be uncomfortable with the fact I dont shave.

Oh please.

I reminded them that they invited me to this wedding with the full knowledge that I dont shave my armpits, as it’s not exactly a secret.

They said that they assumed I shaved for special events where I needed to “look presentable.”

I said I always look presentable for special occasions and that shaving my armpits has nothing to do with it. If people take issue with it, then that’s their problem.

I bet that wasn’t taken well.

Now they are accusing me of trying to take attention away from their wedding by making a political statement.

I told them I’m not doing that at all and that I dont shave because its a personal preference, but ultimately got a “whatever you say” as a response.

They have not at this point said I cant go if I dont shave, so I’m planning on going and not shaving.

That’s one way to stand up for yourself.

WIBTA for doing that?

Again, they know I don’t shave and haven’t for years. I wasn’t even thinking about my armpit hair until they brought it up.

I even said I can trim it a little and they said “it would still be very distracting.”

I’ve also explained to them my skin sensitivity, but they seem dead set on believing I dont shave to make a statement.

They’ve said “well you’re a feminist so there’s no way it’s not a political statement.”

They’re making me feel like an AH, that’s for sure, but am I REALLY the AH?

Despite knowing her grooming choices for years, the couple assumed she’d shave “for special occasions” to look more presentable.

Now she’s planning to attend as she always is, wondering if standing by her own comfort somehow makes her the villain.

News flash: It’s doesn’t.

This person says these friends need new priorities.

And this person says the friends are simply delusional.

Choosing not to shave for comfort isn’t a protest, but trying to control someone’s body for wedding aesthetics definitely sends a louder message.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.