Any relationship requires compromise, but what happens when one friend asks for more than you’re willing to sacrifice?

In today’s story, a college student shares that her friend asked her not to join a club point-blank, just because she joined the club first.

But she wants to join the club. Would she be a bad friend if she did?

Let’s read the whole story.

WIBTA if I joined my friend’s club against her wishes?

I (21F) have known this friend (21F) for about four months.

We met when we both arrived at our university and became close quickly.

We share a strong interest in film.

I’ve been passionate about film for about four years, have worked on short films before, and planned to get involved in the film scene here even before I applied.

She’s in a film club on campus (the main film & photography society and the biggest, most accessible film org here).

Earlier in the year, she encouraged me to audition for short films she worked on and offered to watch my self-tapes, since she was a casting director for one project.

But there’s one area where she doesn’t feel welcomed.

We’ve also casually talked before about me joining the club when I had more time.

Last night during a group hangout, I mentioned that I’d contacted the program organizer and was invited to attend the next meeting.

This morning, when I stopped by her place briefly to pick something up, she told me she would be uncomfortable if I joined the film club.

Then things just got plain weird.

She explained that for her mental health she needs “separate emotional spaces,” and that she doesn’t want her friend group overlapping with her extracurriculars.

Film club is a space where she’s in a different headspace, and if I joined, it would no longer feel separate.

She emphasized this wasn’t about claiming the space, but about maintaining that separation, even though she’s still figuring out why it matters so much to her.

She tried to understand her friend.

About an hour later, we had a text exchange.

Me: “Can you explain a little more about why you feel your two spaces need to be separate? Be as honest as you can.”

Her: “For me, having distinct spaces has been really important for my mental health. Film club is a place where I’m in a different headspace from my social world.

“When those communities overlap, it stops feeling separate, which I realize I really need. I’m not claiming the space as mine, just trying to keep that separation.”

“I know this might not fully make sense and I understand why it can feel unfair.”

But now her friend had the chance to also listen to her feelings.

I replied: “I understand where you’re coming from, but I think you’re asking a lot from me.

“I don’t want to compromise my interests or my very limited time at a university I worked hard to get into to avoid causing discomfort.”

“I’ve been planning to get involved in film here since before I applied, and this club is the biggest and most accessible way to do that.”

“While I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable, I think there are better ways to manage that than discouraging me from something I’ve always cared about.”

Now she had a choice to make.

She responded: “I hear you and understand why this feels unfair. It’s your decision whether or not to join.”

“I wasn’t trying to make the choice for you, just to share how I was feeling. I care about you and honesty matters to me.”

I’m conflicted. I don’t think I’m being unreasonable, but I also understand wanting your own space.

Is there a middle ground here?

AITA?

Four months and she’s already asking for a self-sacrifice? They had a respectful conversation, but this is a red flag.

Let’s see how Reddit reacted to this.

That’s a possibility.

Exactly.

Something to consider.

Yup.

Another reader shares their opinion.

Exactly.

Her friend’s request is so absurd that it belongs in a comedy show.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.