Making decisions for someone else can get complicated, especially when other family members get involved.

So, what would you do if you held power of attorney for your 91-year-old grandmother and felt her current assisted living facility was no longer safe, but her brother was on a cruise and not reachable? Would you wait until he could give his input? Or would you just move your grandma?

In the following story, one granddaughter faces this very decision and chooses the latter. Here’s what happened.

AITA for not including my family in a decision to move grandma

My grandmother is 91, and my uncle (her younger brother) is 85.

In 2022, my grandparents decided to move to an assisted living facility, the most expensive one in their county in Florida.

Fast forward to 2024, the facility severely neglected my grandfather, leading to 18 months of him going to the hospital, rehab, and ultimately hospice before he died in Dec 2025.

After her grandfather passed, she wanted to move her grandmother.

No one from the facility offered condolences. This facility used to be the gold standard of care, but over the last 3 years, they’ve changed a lot, including removing the CEO.

Grandpa’s passing significantly impacted the monthly income for Grandma, and with me having negative feelings about the facility, I wanted to move her somewhere closer to me.

So I toured facilities, my father, who is estranged from his parents, did too upon my request, and we picked one. I narrowed it down to two, and he was the tie breaker.

Her uncle was not happy.

I notified my uncle, who responded, “Wow, that’s a shocker. Why wouldn’t you discuss this with me before you made the decision? What’s happening with all the stuff in the apartment? What’s happening with her aides? I am a little upset that you made the decision without talking to me first.”

He’s been on a month-long cruise, so this communication happened via email.

Mind you, he knew I wanted to move her, and he was actively sending me emails from facilities that contacted him about placement. And because space is limited, you have to act fast, so I did.

It was not an easy decision to make for me, but I have the power of attorney, and my grandparents trusted me to make these decisions.

AITA?

Eek! He needs to calm down, because it sounds like she did what was right.

Let’s check out what the people over at Reddit think about this whole thing.

This reader dealt with something similar.

As this comment points out, it’s literally her responsibility.

For this person, it’s always the people who do nothing that have the loudest voice.

Yet another reader who thinks she did the right thing.

She definitely made the right choice.

Her grandmother needs to be closer to her, so it’s good she didn’t wait.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.