It’s the worst when you help someone, and instead of being grateful, they just keep asking for more.

So when a student’s friend started relying too much on her for help, she slowly realized it was interfering with her own focus.

She also thinks she might be enabling her friend’s lack of agency.

What would you do in her situation?

Keep reading for the full story.

AITA for pulling back from helping a classmate who relies on me a lot?

I’m currently doing a course that I’ve been planning to do for a long time, so I’m taking it pretty seriously and trying to stay on top of everything (assessments, due dates, class content, etc).

There’s someone in my class who I’ve known since high school. We get along fine, but she’s very disorganised.

She’s often late, doesn’t always know what’s going on, and regularly asks me to explain things or catch her up.

At first I didn’t mind helping, but this has been happening consistently over multiple weeks and across several assessments.

She gave her an inch but she took a mile.

It’s not just a one-off situation — it’s become a constant thing.

She’ll ask what we’re doing even after it’s already been explained in class, or ask me about due dates and tasks that are clearly posted online and sent via email.

Recently, she also didn’t properly submit multiple assessments through our student portal because she didn’t complete all the required steps.

That made me realize how much she relies on others instead of double-checking things herself.

She doesn’t want to be her assistant anymore.

I wouldn’t say I’m “drained,” but it’s starting to get frustrating because I’m trying to focus on my own work and stay organized, and I don’t really want to be responsible for keeping someone else on track as well.

I haven’t said anything directly to her, but I’ve started pulling back and just telling her to check the course page instead of explaining everything.

Part of me feels a bit guilty since I’ve known her for a while and don’t want to come across as unfriendly, but at the same time I don’t feel like it’s my responsibility to constantly help her.

I’m also starting to wonder if continuing to help is actually enabling the situation.

AlTA?

She can’t manage her friend’s schedule or feelings for her.

What did Reddit think?

A reader shares their thoughts.

It is draining.

This person shares the sentiment.

Something to consider.

Another reader chimes in.

Yup.

She could also start asking her for information to see what she does.

If you liked this post, you might want to read this story about a teacher who taught the school’s administration a lesson after they made a sick kid take a final exam.