Parents can open doors, but they can’t drag their children through them.

After covering rent and giving her son room to focus on school, she watched him spend more time at his girlfriend’s house and dodge questions about his college classes.

So when she began wondering if he was heading down the wrong path, she reconsidered how much she was willing to support his bad decisions.

Keep reading for the full story.

Aita for cutting my college age son off from support

My 19 year old son works part-time at a grocery store and is supposed to be in school full-time.

We moved about 1.5 years ago to a new town. When we moved, I rented an apartment nearby for both my sons while I moved in with my boyfriend to reduce expenses.

As a parent, she’s happy to support her sons as long as they also hold up their end of the bargain.

I paid most of the moving costs, deposit, and a little over half of their rent. My younger son is responsible for a small portion of the rent, which I’m happy to cover as long as he’s pursuing his education.

My personal situation hasn’t been great. All of my income goes toward supporting my sons.

But then she fell on hard times.

My health began declining after years of work travel, and I was constantly sick. I was drowning in debt trying to keep up, and though I earned enough when working full-time, I missed too many days to manage everything alone.

Their fathers aren’t involved, so I’ve carried the full load.

So it required her to make some tough choices.

When I moved in with my boyfriend to help the situation, I left nearly everything I owned—furniture and all—with the kids.

It was emotionally hard to leave them and everything familiar behind, but I wanted to give them stability and a chance to succeed despite my issues.

Her sons begin to show quite irresponsible tendencies.

After moving out, my younger son started dating a girl who lives about an hour away. I helped him get an old car primarily for school and work, but he began driving it constantly to see her.

Despite the car needing repairs, he ignored them and kept making the trip. I asked him to limit visits to once or twice a week and focus on networking and school, but he didn’t follow through.

She doesn’t think her son has chosen a good partner either.

I have concerns about the partner he chose, though it’s not my choice. She had recently turned 18 when they met, doesn’t work, doesn’t have a DL or transportation, and lives with her mom and brother—who reportedly has different women coming and going.

My son pays for nearly everything while they are together and seems to treat her well.

She worries his partner doesn’t treat him well.

While I’m glad he does, I’ve heard from several people, including his brother and friends, that she often yells at or belittles him, which I’ve also observed myself.

Being no one’s observed reason she should be bitter, it actually makes me sad that he’s belittled and treated poorly. The mother allowing him to stay overnight so often and allowing the brother to have various girls in and out also feels like a red flag.

She tries to intervene, but it doesn’t seem to work.

Out of concern, I reached out to the girl’s mom about some of the challenges I’ve had with my son, and I was hoping she’d encourage him to stay home more, focus on school, and handle his responsibilities.

Unfortunately, it didn’t help—he’s still there most of the week and spends the night often.

When I took away his car due to its unsafe condition and his refusal to listen, her family helped him get another one from auction that is uninsured and looks unsafe to drive.

She wonders if her son is even attending college at all like he claims to.

Now that midterm grades are out, I’ve asked him to show me his progress. He refuses, and I’m not entirely sure if he’s attending full-time or passing his classes.

I know he works and does go to class, but not sure if he’s in 1 class or 4. Since he’s rarely home and we don’t live together, it’s hard to know what’s really going on.

So she decided it’s about time for the financial support to start drying up.

Because of his refusal to show me grades, I’ve told him that after this semester, he’ll need to pay his full half of the rent unless he can show he’s actively enrolled and doing well in school.

I have a feeling he will quit school and just work full-time, which really breaks my heart. All I want is for him to not struggle nearly as much as I had to, but he’s not listening.

AITA if I cut off support? AITA for requiring proof, or that too controlling?

AITA for seeing the gf as a red flag?

You can push someone towards a better life, but at the end of the day, it’s up to them to walk through the door.

What did Reddit make of this predicament?

This commenter has a few objections to this mother’s behavior.

This commenter even thinks she’s being a little hypocritical.

It’s possible this mother is holding on just a bit too tight.

At a certain point, every parent needs to let their kid fly the coop.

Providing support is one thing, but fronting the bill for someone else’s bad behavior is another.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.