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Wedding planning mistakes happen, but it’s how you handle the aftermath that matters.

One woman had been looking forward to her best friend’s wedding for months, especially since her mom was invited too and had already bought a new outfit for the occasion.

But weeks before the big day, she received a frantic text uninviting her mother from the event.

Her friend explained that they had miscounted the guest list, and her mom simply hadn’t made the cut.

Left to deliver the news herself, she decided there was really only one response that made sense: if her mom wasn’t welcome, neither was she.

Keep reading for the full story.

AITA for giving up on going to my friend’s wedding?

My friend (F29) is getting married to her boyfriend of 6 years (M31) soon, September 27th.

She invited me (F25) and my mom to her wedding, and I was really looking forward to it since we’ve been friends for over 8 years.

Everything was planned, and my mom even bought a new outfit to wear at the wedding.

But then there was a sudden change in plans.

Then suddenly, my friend texted me saying this:

“Hi Riley, I know this is short notice and I don’t even know how to tell you this. But we’re taking back some of the invitations, because we did the math wrong and we won’t have enough space or food for all the guests.

We decided to take back the invitations from people who we don’t have much closeness with. So we decided your mom is one of them.

We’re friends with YOU, not her, I think you might agree that she was only going as a plus and accompany you. So yeah, let me know when you tell her.”

This completely puts a sour taste in her mouth.

I haven’t told my mom yet, but I’m definitely not going anymore.

I just think it’s super wrong to un-invite someone just because you’re not directly friends with them.

Now she’s left to calculate her next move.

My mom was looking forward to the event, and I still have no idea how to tell her that.

Am I the AH for giving up on going for her sake? Was my friend inconsiderate, or is it not her fault because they miscalculated things?

I’m not ending the friendship or anything, I just won’t go to the wedding.

That text was always going to put a damper on the celebratory mood.

What did Reddit have to say?

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Maybe there’s another way to make sure her mom is happy.

This really wasn’t good etiquette on the friend’s part.

This commenter has one choice word.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a brother who is concerned about the trouble with splitting funeral costs equally between siblings.

Planning a wedding is no walk in the park, but come on.

A miscounted guest list is an honest mistake. Framing someone’s removal as “we’re friends with YOU, not her” is a choice, and a pretty tone-deaf one at that.

Asking someone else to deliver the bad news instead of handling that conversation directly shifts an awkward, hurtful moment onto the wrong person.

Uninviting someone a month before the event just isn’t the move.

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Author

Benjamin Cottrell

Benjamin Cottrell | Assistant Editor, Internet Culture

Benjamin Cottrell is an Assistant Editor and contributing writer at TwistedSifter, specializing in internet culture, viral social dynamics, and the moral complexities of online communities. He brings a highly analytical, editorial voice to his reporting on workplace conflicts, malicious compliance, and interpersonal drama, with a specific focus on nuanced stories that lack an obvious villain.

As a published author of rhetorical criticism, Benjamin leverages his academic background in human communication to dissect and elevate viral social media threads. Instead of simply summarizing events, he provides readers with balanced, deep-dive commentary into why the internet reacts the way it does. In addition to his cultural reporting, he is an experienced fine art photography essayist and video game reviewer.

When he isn’t analyzing the latest viral debates, Benjamin is usually chipping away at his extensive video game backlog, hunting down the best new restaurants, or out exploring the city with a camera in hand.

Connect with Benjamin on Instagram and read more of his essays on Substack.