Imagine letting a friend move in with you as a favor, but after time goes by, they break so many rules that you’re sick of living with them. Would you stick to the rules and set firm boundaries, or would you back down and let your friend do whatever she wants?

In this story, one woman is in this situation, and she’s starting to question if she’s the one who’s in the wrong.

Let’s read all about it.

AITAH for setting firmer boundaries with my roommate after, not only being told by my landlord they were breaking rules, but also after months of them being incredibly rude and inconsiderate to me?

I own a mobile home parked in a closed community park.

The rules are a little tight here, but the park is very nice and my landlord is very reasonable.

One of the rules states that there can be “No Unautherized Overnight Guests,” which I have come to understand means “people who aren’t on the lease shouldn’t be here most days of the week” after several conversations with my landlord about the topic, with her citing accountability and liability issues she’s experienced with previous tenants.

She offered to help out a friend.

To preface some, my roommate is recently divorced and came to me for help when she was in the process of leaving her husband.

I agreed that she could stay in my spare room (for an INCREDIBLY reasonable rent price, and I even wound up lowering the rent after my partner moved in-we’ll touch on that in a moment) for as long as it took to get on her feet.

At first, things were pretty alright.

She always paid her rent on time, was very communicative about any issues she had, and it was just nice to have another detail-oriented female energy close by.

But she didn’t appreciate her roommate’s lies.

The only thing thay bothered me at this time, was that she would consistently come home very upset after sneaking off to her soon-to-be ex’s house; and to be clear, it was none of my business, nor did I care much where she spent her time aside from it making her so upset, and lying to me for literally no reason.

She said she didn’t want to feel “judged,” which I understood, but I don’t like feeling like I am being lied to either, especially over something so arbitrary.

She did move out for a brief period to try and reconcile her marriage, but less than 3 weeks later was moved back in.

Soon after they finalized the divorce, which I thought would be great.

Her friend started to move on.

Things continued to go well for a few weeks.

She made plans to go back to school (which she has stuck with so far and I am proud of her.)

She started spending time with a guy from work, which quickly evolved into a relationship.

I was happy that she was moving on, or at very least, trying to move on.

Now, there’s a new problem.

But things started to get very strange at this point.

She began sneaking the new guy in to the house, and when I called her out for it, citing the lease rules and general consideration, she got defensive but several days later ultimately agreed to at least let me know when she was having company (I saw this as incredibly disrespectful of the household but pushed it off to maintain the peace.)

From this point on, things got worse.

While she tells me when he is coming over now, he spends most nights at my house because she “doesn’t like his house anymore” (I could spend quite some time trying to unpack this, but this is already a lot and there is still more.)

The landlord has a rule about overnight guests, and the roommate doesn’t seem to care about it.

My landlord (to be clear, I have my landlord, and I am considered my roommates landlord) approached me and told me 1) we have to stop leaving ruts in the yard (a situation caused by her having her boyfriend over 5-7nights a week) and that her boyfriend can’t stay here 5-7 nights a week without being on the lease.

I came to a compromise that the boyfriend could be here on the weekends as long as we do something about the rut, the grass, and the parking situation.

She verbally agreed.

I woke up the next morning and she had snuck him in, saying “I didn’t want to risk waking you up” when I asked why she didn’t even leave a text message, after everything I had gone through with my landlord to arrange this for her in the first place.

Now, OP takes us back to the circumstances surrounding why her partner moved in.

My partner lived separately for the first chunk of our relationship. Recently he was in a house-fire that put him out of his apartment.

After a few days of him camping out with me, realizing he wouldn’t be getting his unit back, battling with Red Cross, etc. We decided it would be easier and better for him to just move in with me.

His moving in was mentioned in passing for a few months, but the fire is what drove it home.

Over the week that we were preparing to move him in, I told her the situation many times.

Her roommate sounds heartless.

His first real night moved in, she started mentioning rentals in the area that might fit his budget, instead of being welcoming to a man who had just lost almost everything in a fire.

She then proceeded to ask me for a lower rate on her rent since there was a new room mate, absolutely no care in the world that we were navigating something devastating.

Not too long before this, my boyfriend and I made plans to go to an event in his home town.

Her roommate sounds really flakey and should definitely not be in charge of pets!

I made arrangements with my roommate to feed my cat, with the roommate and checked every other day just about, and every single time she confirmed that she would be there, until the day before.

She did tell me she made plans to leave town about 24 hours before we left for our plans.

She did help me set up an auto feeder, which was nice. But it didn’t matter because my cat never got to use it.

My boyfriend and I left before they did, and she wound up closing my cat in her room for 36 hours with no food, water, or place to use the bathroom. Instead of an apology she told me my cat messed up her bed, and that’s all I heard about it.

Her roommate broke another rule.

We had an agreed-upon rule that she wouldn’t use the dryer when I am asleep, because the dryer in right on my bedroom wall and keeps me awake.

Over the past few months, she has begun to disregard that rule (especially on weekend mornings when I, like most people, prefer to sleep in.)

The most recent incident being this past weekend, where my partner and I were both sharing a mutual off day, trying to sleep in.

I got up for some water and my roommate was making breakfast, and she stated she would be starting the dryer soon, and that “I would be the only one it would bother,” so she essentially stated she didnt care if I got back to sleep or not, in spite of the rule.

Here’s the biggest problem…

And finally. The thing that has truly been eating at me the last couple of weeks; I got sick with a pretty serious upper respiratory on new years eve.

As soon as I felt a tickle in my throat, I let her know.

She decided she and her boyfriend would be spending the entirety of the holidays in my house (2 weeks, no breaks, no conversation at all. I let it go because I’m not a scrooge but I shouldn’t have, I know.)

A few days later, she also got sick.

She thinks the roommate was asking too much.

She then proceeded to send me a text wall about how I shouldn’t spend time in the living room when I am sick, because “she stayed in her room when she got COVID and that’s why I didn’t get sick.”

At this point, I lost my mind, telling her that was totally inappropriate and uncalled for, that I gave her a warning and I won’t be quarantining in my bedroom, because this is my home, and I deserve to be comfortable while I am sick in my own home.

She never responded to that text, but I also never got an apology for this egregious overstepping of boundaries.

So reddit. I just want to know. Am I being the jerk here? Am I overreacting to the dishonesty? Am I supposed to hole up in my bedroom only when I’m sick? Am I supposed to lose sleep because of the dryer situation? I truly have no idea, otherwise I wouldn’t be asking.

The cat issue is what’s bothering me the most. I’d be tempted to kick her out because of that if nothing else.

Let’s see how Reddit responded to this story.

Here’s a vote for kicking out the roommate.

The landlord might be able to help.

Everyone agrees that she should kick out her roommate.

The cat situation is unforgivable.

Her roommate has got to go!

If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.