Few things feel worse than realizing someone may have intentionally excluded you while pretending it was just a misunderstanding.

This woman thought everything was fine with her brother-in-law’s upcoming wedding. Her husband is the best man, their young son is the ring bearer, and she has even helped with planning a luncheon and connecting the bride with professional contacts for the wedding day.

So when the bride suddenly texted claiming their family never RSVP’d, the message already felt strange.

Then things got even weirder.

The bride explained that her husband and son still had seats at the reception because they were already included in the original headcount, but somehow she did not.

Read on to see exactly what’s happening.

BIL’s fiancé claims my family never RSVP’d, but I’m the only one without a seat

My brother-in-law is getting married soon. My husband is the best man, and our 4 year old is the ring bearer.

I’m a part-time party planner so I’ve been helping plan a small luncheon for the bridal party, immediate family, and a few vendors on the wedding day. So I’m not exactly a fringe guest here.

The RSVP deadline was a few weeks ago. I filled out the online form and submitted it the same day the invitation came in the mail, with my husband sitting right next to me. We RSVP’d for the three of us: me, my husband, and our son. Easy peasy, right?

Everything was great until the text came in.

Well, BIL’s fiancé (SIL?) reached out today over text saying we never RSVP’d.

Not “Hey, I never saw your RSVP, just checking,” but straight-up, “You didn’t respond.”

Which is frustrating on its own, but then she tells us that while my husband and son have seats at the reception as they were in part of her original head counts, I do not. My husband was told I could come early with him to set up the luncheon still and stay for the ceremony, but that I would not have a spot at the reception.

Right now, she’s feeling a flood of emotions.

Let me repeat that: I’m married to the best man, mother of the ring bearer, and helping with wedding day logistics, including connecting SIL with some of my professional contacts!! And she somehow decided I just wouldn’t be coming? And she never followed up before the RSVP deadline? Just, what??

I’m torn between feeling hurt, furious, and just flabbergasted. And used, I definitely feel used. At best, this was a sloppy mistake that she’s not owning. At worst, it feels like a pointed exclusion. I’m not sure which stings more.

My husband is going to handle the conversation with his brother to figure out what is going on, because I genuinely don’t trust myself to be polite and keep the peace.

The whole thing shocked her.

There was no other drama leading up to this that I was aware of. I have a good relationship with my in-laws. So yeah, this is totally out of left field for me and my husband.

I would love to hear thoughts, especially from people who’ve gone through something similar.

I don’t typically touch weddings with work so this is all new territory for me as a pseudo vendor/guest. My husband wants to reach out and talk to his brother first, but I’m so tempted to reach out to my MIL before our usual meet up tomorrow to see if she knows anything.

Wow! Something sounds very off about this whole situation.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a teen girl who went above and beyond for a friend, only to be berated about not spending enough money on a gift.

Let’s see how the readers over at Reddit feel about the whole thing.

This reader doesn’t think she even needed an RSVP.

Here’s someone who would be so mad.

This is a good explanation.

That would definitely be a statement.

This whole thing feels like a mess.

Even if the RSVP somehow disappeared, most brides would have reached out long before final numbers got locked in. Especially when the missing guest is the best man’s wife and the mother of the ring bearer.

And after accepting her help with planning and vendor contacts, turning around and saying there’s suddenly no seat for her at the reception feels pretty hurtful no matter how anyone spins it.