As children transition from being kids to being adults they often have to struggle to figure out how to make it on their own. This is a normal and good part of growing up.

What would you do if you had two grown adults, one of whom was doing very well for herself, and the other who refused to find a job and continuously needed money to get by?

That is the situation that the Mom in this story is in, so she asked her eldest daughter to start sending money to the one who is struggling. The eldest daughter, however, didn’t want to pay for her sister who is refusing to work. The Mom is upset with her because of this and thinks that her eldest should share her money.

AITA for asking my daughter to share her money

I have 4 daughters, 29f, 23f, 16f, and 15f.

It is always great when people can make good money, it makes life so much easier.

My oldest works a good job and does a side hustle so she makes really good money for her age.

My 23 year old chose not to go to collage. She didn’t want to have to do chores and other work at home.

This is very generous that they were able to give her the money to help her get started.

She moved out last year and we gave her 25,000 dollars which was her collage fund.

Unfortunately rent costs a lot here so we have to help her out with food water, and other expenses pretty often. The 25,000 was gone in a year.

Nobody wants to work, that’s why you get paid for it. These parents are just enabling her bad behavior.

We have to spend lots of money on her so she can afford her life as she doesn’t really want to work. My husband isn’t able to work much anymore due to health issues with my income alone, I can no longer afford to support my 23 year old with my salary.

My oldest daughter lives in a pretty rich state and makes quite over 100,000 per year, although she lives in a pretty HCOL area.

There is no way I would agree to this if I was the sister. I can’t even believe that Mom is asking.

This is more than what I make, so I asked my oldest if she could give some money to support her sister. She doesn’t want to as it’ll be expensive and she wants to save on a house but I really want her to as it’ll help her sister a lot.

My older daughter told me to “tell my youngest to work and not freeload off everyone else.”

The younger sister is being selfish by mooching off of everyone else.

I told her she was being selfish and asked her to pay at least 2000 per year and I’d ask my 23 year old to get a part time job she still refused.

I think it’s selfish of her to put buying a house over helping her sister. She says she’ll be willing to help her sister look for a job and to give her 500 a month, not anymore than that.

Maybe she will want to work once she has nowhere to live or no food to eat.

I did ask for my daughter to get a part time job but she doesn’t want to.

Now my oldest is upset I’m trying to use her and that I’m spoiling my 23 year old because she had to work and go to college but I told her I changed my parenting style. She’s still upset.

AITA?

This mother is absolutely out of line. She should not be supporting her daughter herself, much less trying to get the older sibling to pitch in. This isn’t even helping the younger daughter as it is teaching her to be irresponsible.

Read on to see what the people in the comments have to say about this situation.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about siblings who treat every social outing like a weird competition.

Neither Mom or the eldest daughter should be supporting the other child who doesn’t want a job. They are just enabling her.

Nobody wants to work, but it is a part of life.

It is hard to imagine why Mom thinks she is doing a good job here. She is harming both of her kids.

Mom is clearly missing out on the part of parenting where she needs to teach her child responsibility.

This person points out that the spoiled daughter will never want to get a job at this rate.

Mom is really setting this daughter up for failure. In addition, she will undoubtedly cause the eldest daughter to resent her sister and likely not want anything to do with Mom. This is a big parenting issue and it is hard to see how the mother doesn’t realize it.