Whether you’re at college or living in a city, anyone who lives with – or has previously lived with – a roommate knows that these folk come in all different shapes and sizes. And while it’s nice to live with someone you’re best friends with, that’s not always the prerequisite for a good roommate arrangement. In fact, some people find it beneficial to live with people they’re not super tight with, since that provides a whole different dynamic that, at times, can be exhausting.

But when the student in this story went to college, she thought it would be great if an existing friend roomed with her – after all, they’d had plenty of overnight stays before, and all went well, so there was no reason that college wouldn’t be similarly as harmonious.

Unfortunately though, the agreement turned out to be a bust – and not because of anything to do with the student whose idea it was. Rather, the friend she’d asked to live with her turned out, under the influence of a new place and new people, to be a very different person to who she was back in high school. And let’s just say it’s a multi-sensory experience.

Read on to find out what happened.

WIBTA if I tell my roommate what I really think of her?

“Abby” and I have been friends for about a year now, and we decided it would be a good idea to room together in college since she stayed at my house a lot over the summer.

Every time she would come over, I got no red flags – nothing like I experienced while rooming with her.

When we moved into together, I knew she had some cleanup issues as her room at home wasn’t the cleanest.

I can be messy too, but mainly I am pretty organised.

But over time, this student started to become concerned about Abby.

As the weeks went by, both myself and our other mutual friend noticed how she usually only showered once a week.

When I asked her about it, she claimed “she didn’t stink so there was no reason to shower everyday” and that she “only showers when [she] needs to wash [her] hair.”

She has curly hair, as do I so I get it, but I still shower every day.

She also mentioned that she only brushes her teeth while in the shower… so she only brushes her teeth once a week. In the span of living with her, I only saw her brush her teeth twice over nine months. And I’m usually with her and always home when she is.

Yikes! Understandably, the roommate was shocked – especially when things got worse.

Also, when she says she “doesn’t stink,” she sweats in her clothes all day and then leaves them on her side of the room closest to the front door. And her clothes STINK, like poop and god awful BO.

I promise I’m not being dramatic. When she laid them all out one time to separate whites and colours I threw up in the trash can because they smelled so bad.

I also noticed as she met new people in our area that she was new to, her personality started changing and she started obviously lying to me.

The area is small, everyone knows everyone. I told her before living with me to watch what she says because people will hear about it. Well, now she’s having boy problems.

Read on to find out about these issues.

She is the type that craves male attention and takes disrespect from men. I tell her that she needs to stand up for herself, and its to the point where she has no self respect, and when she tells me things and she just says “I know” but she doesn’t.

She was hanging out with this guy who I also know and told him how she doesn’t like to be home because I’m constantly “fussing” to her about the guys she likes and how I “get on her nerves” and “I’m just jealous because guys don’t like me.”

I had a sit down conversation with her asking her if she did say that, and if she did I wouldn’t be mad but i just want to know if she did and if there was anything I could do to fix it if she really feels that way.

She completely denied everything and said we were all good. Okay cool, whatever.

But that wasn’t the end of things.

A couple weeks went by and we were hanging out and she brought it up again saying, “by the way when we talked about the whole fussing thing, I’m not gonna lie, I did say that.”

I said, “yeah, no ****.”

So really the question here is, would it be wrong if I had another conversation with her and confronted her about the lying and the hygiene thing?

I want to continue being friends with her, but I don’t condone lying and I don’t know how to bring it up.

AITA?

It’s clear that this student is doing her best to cope with her friend, but honestly, it isn’t going well.

There’s a good chance that when she confronts her friend about the issues, she’s not going to take it well.

But sometimes, it’s important to be honest – even if someone’s feelings get a little hurt.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a couple whose new neighbors’ construction noise is ruining the whole neighborhood vibe.

Let’s see what folks on Reddit made of this.

This person was impressed she’d managed to stay living with this girl for so long.

While others told her to expect Abby to fight back when she told her the truth.

Meanwhile, many people agreed that however it panned out, Abby needed to know.

Whatever is going on with Abby, it seems like with her general lack of personal hygiene, her lack of self-confidence, and the way that she apparently reacts to men disrespecting her, there’s a good chance that she didn’t have the best childhood. Perhaps no one has supported her and made her feel like she’s worth being clean, or perhaps the emotional support was never there when she was a child. Either way, those obstacles are not her roommate’s to fix.

However, it’s not unreasonable of her roommate to be honest with her about the smell, because they live in a shared space, meaning that the roommate is having to spend a lot of time around Abby and her odour. It’s most likely not going to turn out well when the roommate tells Abby about her odour, but it’s important – for her own dignity if nothing else – that she actually knows about it. If she does nothing about it then? Well that’s her choice. But right now she’s completely oblivious, and that’s not really fair.

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