Splitting vacation costs with a large friend group is one of those things that works well in theory but almost never in practice. This is especially true when one person in the group has a reputation for needing to be chased down for every payment.

A man who ended up as the de facto trip organizer for a holiday tried to get ahead of the problem by setting up a direct debit with his most financially unreliable friend, with that friend’s full agreement.

But the real drama started when the rest of his social circle somehow decided that his fair agreement was really a manipulative strong-arming tactic.

You’ll want to keep reading until the end on this one.

AITA for having my friend set up a Direct Debit with me

I’m going on holiday with my mates in September and I somehow got roped into being the one to make the booking — fine, whatever, I can handle that responsibility.

Due to me making that booking, I am also the one responsible for making the payments.

This would soon prove to be a taxing job.

Me and my mates are all paying in installments and we’re all paying separately.

All 4 of us are paying around £153 each.

Now, 2 of my mates are generally okay with paying as long as I tell them — I will usually get it when I ask.

The thing is, he doesn’t trust some of his friends when it comes to money.

One of my other friends is notorious when it comes to making payments, as it can usually be late, or you would have to chase him on multiple occasions.

Yeah, no thanks — that’s why I thought it would be a good idea to set up a direct debit with him and only him.

This seems the logical choice for several reasons.

I’d hope for something as expensive as a holiday he would pay as and when I ask, but forgive me for not wanting to take any chances.

With a direct debit, I know I’ll get the money, it saves me having to chase him, and it saves him from having me hound him — because he knows I will.

He knows he can come off tough, but that’s what it takes sometimes.

I do have a habit of going full debt collector on people, but if they want me to do the booking, well then they are well aware of how I am — don’t say I didn’t warn them.

Anyway, all of this to say I’m now getting grief for “strong-arming” him into paying.

Personally, I don’t think I am — I’m not forcing him to set up a direct debit, I told him it may be a good idea and I’d like him to, and left it at that.

He decided to set one up — at no point have I forced him, and he can cancel it at any time.

That’s the beauty of a direct debit.

Now, some others in his social circle are making him feel bad about it.

I’m being told by other friends and some family that I may have made him feel like he had no choice, because he knows I’ll be on his case if he isn’t on time — but that is specifically what I’m trying to avoid here.

It’s not like it’s hard for him to pay — yes, he has got bills to pay and all, but he is never, ever hard for cash.

He has the most disposable income out of us all.

AITA?

When you put yourself on the line financially, you have to make sure you’re not going to be left out to dry.

What did Reddit make of all this?

If his friend really is embarrassed, then there’s a pretty simple solution for that.

If it were this commenter, they would say something like this.

Maybe this whole thing could have been kept a little more hush-hush.

This user concludes this friend deserves the treatment he’s getting.

Strong-arming is a strong word choice for a voluntary, cancellable payment setup with the one person in the group who has a documented history of going quiet when money is due.

Maybe his other friends don’t understand because they’ve never been burdened with the responsibility of handling everyone else’s money.

Being in charge of planning a trip isn’t an easy job, but none of his other friends were offering to step up to the plate. They only felt like criticizing him from a distance.

The rest of his friends can either take the lead next time or shut their mouths.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about parents who want their young adult son to pay more toward household expenses.