A missed event can be disappointing.

However, most people can tell the difference between someone intentionally blowing them off and someone making an honest mistake.

This student thought a quick explanation would clear things up after realizing an exam conflicted with plans they had agreed to attend.

After all, exams aren’t exactly something you can reschedule.

Unfortunately, the friend wasn’t interested in hearing that and seemed far more focused on making a point than finding a solution.

Read on to see where things stand between them now.

AITA for missing plans because of an exam?

My friend and I have known each other for about 3 years. We’ve made and carried out plans before that went amazingly, and we had a lot of fun.

When we first met, they used to be really kind and understanding, and they always understood when or why you couldn’t make something.

So, last month or so, I had agreed to attend a small gathering to say goodbye to a teacher that everyone really liked (I haven’t seen them since my GCSEs), as we’re coming to the end of our A-levels and won’t have another chance otherwise.

Sadly, he got his days mixed up.

It was set for a specific date and time, as it was the only time that teacher was free to see us. At that time, I thought I was free, as they kept insisting that “everyone would have finished exams by then.”

As the day kept coming closer, I kept thinking I was free… because I thought it was on a different date. The meeting was set for the Monday (when I have an exam at the same time), and I thought it was for the Wednesday (the day I’m completely free). As we hadn’t talked about it at all since it was initially set, I kept thinking as such.

Yesterday, they sent me a message reminding me of this event, to which I let them know that unfortunately I couldn’t attend due to the exam coming up. To this, they voiced their frustration by calling me a “******.”

This was the first time he’d done this.

Nothing else, just the word “******,” which I told them upset me. Instead of apologizing and finding another way to voice their frustration, they doubled down and told me to stop making promises I can’t keep.

This is the first time since we’ve known each other that I’ve been unable to attend something because I got the dates wrong.

They brought up a previous plan that I was unable to attend (because my mum put me down to work that day without asking if I was free to do so a couple days before the plan was said to go on) and told me that if I “can’t be bothered to check the date, then I shouldn’t make the plans.”

He tried to explain himself.

Now, I agree that I should have double-checked, but in the moment they were making it seem like it was a recurring issue that was always on me and me alone.

I told them that I’m overwhelmed at the moment, as I have many different things coming up soon that I have to keep in mind, and remembering the dates for them is difficult enough even without having to worry about exams.

In the moment, I told them that calling me a ****** doesn’t change the fact that I can’t attend, but it does make them seem like a **** in the moment (my exact words).

Now, their other plans are cancelled.

We had other plans set for later next month. We had plans to see a Metallica concert and others. All plans that had been made months in advance that I had made sure to keep free from anything else so I could attend because these events mean a lot to them.

They then said that the “******” was a joke, threatened to take me off the concert because of the comment, and so I apologized and tried wording it differently in a way that more accurately portrayed what about it hurt.

They took me off anyway. My other friend is with me.

AITA?

Wow! His friend sounds very immature.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a mom who is irate after she gave a group leader money for her daughter’s lunch, only to have him pocket the cash and ask all of the kids to pay their own way.

Let’s check out how the folks over at Reddit would handle it.

This reader thinks they’re both wrong for name-calling.

That’s nice!

According to this comment, the friend is salty.

For this reader, that stuff happens all the time.

This friend needs to get a grip.

Missing the gathering was unfortunate, but it’s not like the student skipped it to go to a party or sit at home watching TV. They had an exam, which is a pretty legitimate reason to miss just about anything.

Instead of accepting that, the friend turned one scheduling mistake into a character flaw and started digging up old examples to prove a point. Then they doubled down by threatening future plans and removing them from the concert anyway.

Friends don’t have to be happy when plans fall through, but they should be able to show a little understanding when life gets in the way.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a person who abandoned their own D&D campaign when their friends stopped paying attention.