I’ve only been to a few auctions in my life, but I’ll tell you one thing…

These folks don’t play around!

In fact, I’d even say that some of them consider themselves professional buyers.

And that, my friends, brings us today’s story.

A man went to an auction and he was so turned off by the behavior he saw there that he decided it was time to fight dirty.

Take a look at how he got some petty revenge on a guy who thought he owned the place.

Brag about how you’ll just outbid me? Fine, I’ll just outplay you.

“This is incredibly stupid and petty, but here we are.

I was at a charity auction for a very niche world this past weekend (I’m keeping things vague as it is such a niche world) and the mood at these events is always jovial, brash, loud, and fun.

Everyone’s having a good time.

There’s a live auction with a simultaneous silent auction that ends a few minutes after the live one. It’s a positive, almost celebratory atmosphere.

Well, one of the well-known figures in this little world was bidding on what seemed like half the silent auction items. We’ll call him Steve.

That’s kind of annoying…

He always upped bids by just the minimum $1 and it felt like he was impossibly everywhere—items were on tables lining a large banquet hall, so not just one central location.

There was one fun themed home decor item I loved and had bid on a few times that I was keeping an eye on. When I went to update my bid at one point, a woman was standing in front of it with Steve standing next to him.

She immediately upped my bid then stood with her hands on the table in front of it, blocking it almost like a dog guarding a toy.

Okaaaaay, whatever.

I playfully said something like “Ah, you really want it, eh? Man, I see your name everywhere; it’s like, just give up if you see Steve’s name!”

Steve: “Yeah, I have 3 people out there watching the tables and bidding for me.”

Come on, dude…

Okaaaaay…this is blatantly against the rules (as is “guarding” the item), but I’m a nobody to this dude’s Somebody in this world, so whatever.

Me: “Should I even bother to try bidding on it any more?”

Steve, condescendingly: “You can, but I’ll just outbid you.”

Okay dude, I see you. Whatever, you can have this cool thing if your ego needs it that badly. I walked away.

It was GO time!

At the end of the live auction, they announced it was the final 60 seconds for bids and I noticed Steve was not near said cool item so I sped over to the table and excitedly placed my bet. Then I realized the nearby (different) woman was one of Steve’s assigned bidders and she immediately outbid me.

During those 30-ish seconds as she wrote the bid, I asked, “Oh, you’re bidding for Steve, eh?” “Yeah…”

She looked apologetic and embarrassed. Figuring let’s at least make this sporting, I asked, “Well, do you have a top bid?” “No—he just told me to be sure to win it.” Cool. Cool cool cool.

Well, she happened to finish writing her bid and set the paper down just as the auctioneer started counting down the last 10 seconds.

Take that!

I immediately snatched up the paper and placed the winning bid with one second to spare, shamelessly throwing my 50 year old arms up in the air with a “WOOO HOOOOOO!” of victory.

He may outbid me, but I outplayed him.

I felt a little bad for the woman not doing what he’d impressed upon her to do, but SUCK IT STEVE IT’S MINE.

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Oh and it looks AWESOME in my house.”

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If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a man who spent days clearing his land only to find his neighbor snuck over and planted a tree.

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This guy had it coming!

And it sounds like he wasn’t playing fair, doesn’t it?

But the guy who wrote this story was done playing games!

This was petty AND delightful!