Some family resentments don’t fade with time, they just wait for the next opportunity to resurface.

One woman has watched her sibling carry deep resentment over their father’s remarriage for years, ever since he started dating again in college following their mother’s death back in middle school.

That old wound reopened completely when their dad, prompted by a recent health scare, announced he now wants to be cremated instead of being buried beside their late mother in the plot he’d long ago purchased for himself.

Their sister erupted at the dinner table, launched into a full argument with their father, and has since given him the silent treatment while pressuring the woman to join her side.

When she refused, telling her sister to grow up and accept their dad’s decision, she got called heartless and accused of not defending their mother’s memory.

Keep reading for the full family drama.

AITA for telling my sister to grow up and get over what our dad wants to do

My sister and I lost our mom when we were kids. She passed away while we were in middle school, and our dad was a single parent until he started dating again when we were both in college.

Our mom has a gravesite, and for years our dad had purchased the plot next to hers so he could be buried beside her when he died.

But soon, their dad made other plans with his life.

That is no longer the plan. He remarried, and although his wife is a nice woman, my sister and I have never been particularly close to her.

What I do know is that my dad loves her very much. My sister believes he should have never remarried.

So when life threw their dad yet another curveball, he had yet another change of heart.

Our dad recently had a health scare, which made him rethink what he wants after he dies. He now wants to be cremated instead of being buried next to our mother.

Personally, I don’t care what he decides. It’s his choice. My sister, however, did not take it well. He told us over dinner, and the two of them got into a huge argument about it.

So finally she was forced to be brutally honest with her sister.

Since then, my sister has been giving him the silent treatment and has tried to get me to tell him he’s making the wrong decision.

That led to an argument between us. I told her to grow up and accept that it’s his decision.

She called me heartless and accused me of not defending our late mother. I told her it’s been over 20 years, and she needs to get over it.

It’s hard to hear, but still necessary.

What did Reddit have to say?

There are clearly some unresolved feelings her sibling hasn’t fully worked through yet.

If one daughter won’t support him, at least the other one will.

20 years is a long time when you really think about it.

Ultimately their dad has a right to move on with his life.

Resentment that’s had over twenty years to settle doesn’t really need a new trigger, it just needs any opportunity to resurface, and that’s clearly what happened here.

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Her sister’s anger was never really about cremation versus burial, it was about a remarriage she never made peace with in the first place.

Refusing to validate that anger isn’t heartlessness, it’s recognizing that their dad has spent decades being a devoted father and remains entitled to his own choices about his own life and death.

Honesty is what her sister needed to hear in that moment.