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Well, this sure is a sticky situation…

And there’s so much drama involved, it sounds like it could be the plot of a movie!

I think you’ll agree with me once you dive in to the story below.

This guy has a lot of thinking to do, that’s for sure!

Take a look at what he had to say about why he doesn’t want to be the Best Man at his friend’s wedding.

Hang on tight!

WIBTA for declining my role as Best Man at my best friend’s wedding?

“I [29M] and my longest friend, let’s call him Robin [29M], have known each other since we were 11.

He met his now fiancee, lets call her Anna [31F], when we were 18. I’ve met Anna a dozen of times, and she is amazing.

There’s a problem…

But I don’t think I can be at their wedding.

When Robin and I met each other, I had the biggest crush on him, but was to scared to pursue it. When he and Anna got together, and I realized he wasn’t gay, I let it go.

However I did tell him.

We were all going off to university, and my friend group decided to all reveal a secret, before leaving our home town. I told them I had had a crush on Robin, but it was over now, and it had been for a long time (which wasn’t true at that moment).

After two years, Anna and Robin had a big argument, and split up. When Robin told me about it, I said he could come whenever he needed a chat, or he could message/call me at any time.

I didn’t hear from him in two weeks, then he told me he would be at my university a few days later for a school project, and wanted to meet up.

Plot twist!

When he arrived at my dorm, he started confessing that he had broken up with Anna because he had been feeling things for me. He said he wanted to try a relationship, and asked if he could kiss me.

I was confused, but agreed, thinking about all the long years of hurting because I couldn’t get him in middle and high school. One thing led to another and that same evening we went to bed with each other.

That was the one and only time we did that. We stayed in contact, meeting up every few weeks to get lunch or dinner.

And yet another plot twist!

Sometimes with friends, sometimes just the two of us. One day, 2-3 months after our hookup, he told me he and Anna were together again, and they had been for a while, but was scared to tell me because he didn’t want to hurt me.

I did say it hurt me a little, and that I felt he had played me, but I was willing to just stay friends, as long as that would never happen again.

Now it is 2026.

I am in a happy relationship with my boyfriend, have stayed friends with Robin, and he has proposed to Anna last year. A few weeks ago he asked me if I wanted to be his best man for the wedding next may. I said yes.

I have been talking to our friend group, already planning some of the stuff for my speech and such (I plan a lot, maybe too much), when one of our mutual friends told me about the “One week they split up” and that I “helped him go through it”.

One week?

Robin told me they split up for almost 2 months.

A ha!

Then I realized: If they had only been split up for a week, that meant Anna and Robin were together again when we hooked up. He cheated on her with me.

I have been cheated on a lot. I can’t stand it. If I had known they were together I would have never done it with him. I don’t think I can be his best man.

He has been talking about his wedding in such awe, and now I will ruin it by not being there for him. I don’t know what to do.”

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And here’s what folks had to say about this on Reddit.

This person shared their thoughts.

Another reader weighed in.

This individual said he’s NTA.

Another person agreed.

And this reader offered some advice.

I think the best course of action is to talk to his friend.

Honesty is the best policy, right?

He might as well put it all on the line!

This story has more twists and turns than a suspense novel!

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Author

Matthew Gilligan