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Not every conflict on a school trip comes down to who’s being a good friend, sometimes it comes down to who’s setting a reasonable boundary.

One woman had already spent the day feeling anxious about her place within her friend group, watching two classmates repeatedly pull her friend away from planned group activities, all while managing her own overthinking tendencies.

When her friend rejoined the group and asked to sit beside her on the ride home, she happily agreed, especially given her friend’s medical needs. That plan got complicated fast when the same two girls announced they’d be sitting directly behind them, with one openly stating she planned to bang on the seats just to annoy people.

Choosing not to sit there wasn’t really a hard call, but it still ended with her being blamed for leaving her friend behind.

Keep reading to find out what Reddit had to say about all the drama.

AITA for refusing to sit next to my friend on a road trip

I just wanna start by saying this happened a bit ago and me and this friend are on good terms.

Now me (ace) and my friends Ziee and Jule went on a big trip together in school to a museum. On the way there I sat with Jule because Ziee said she was gonna sit with someone who ended up not going.

The trip didn’t exactly go as planned.

The whole day there, two other girls were dragging Ziee away when it was planned that me, Jule, and Ziee would walk around as a group.

Now this did upset me, since 1, I’m autistic and possibly ADHD, so I was overthinking it all, feeling like Ziee didn’t like me anymore, and 2, the two girls I’ve had problems with before, so I was scared since I’ve had problems keeping friends, especially since I just came out of a very toxic friend group that just kicked me out and tried to turn all of my friends against me (didn’t work), so I felt upset.

On the ride back is where things really started heating up.

Anyway, Ziee ended up joining back in mine and Jule’s group and asked to sit next to me on the way back. Now I did promise her I would, especially since she does have some medical problems.

Now these two girls come up to me and Ziee saying there were gonna sit behind us so they could talk to Ziee.

Then she had a choice to make.

One of those girls said straight up that she was gonna bang on our seats since she said she likes ticking people off. I told her, “Can you not do that to me, I wouldn’t like it,” and even if you didn’t do it to me I would still feel it since the seats are connected, but she kept saying she would, so I decided just to not sit with them, and Ziee ended up alone with the chavs in the back.

Now the 2 girls say I’m horrible for leaving her alone, but that may be them trying to break us apart.

AITA?

Oh, the drama.

What did Reddit have to say?

It’s clear to this commenter where the blame lies.

There’s something to be said for protecting your boundaries.

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If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a woman who is hurt she’s being blamed for not caring for her friend’s dogs, but no one asked her to.

It’s important to not get too caught up in the labels.

What’s really being overlooked here is that this student didn’t choose to exclude anyone, she chose not to sit somewhere she was warned would be uncomfortable on purpose.

Being told directly that someone plans to bang on your seat for entertainment isn’t a minor inconvenience to just tolerate for the sake of group harmony, it’s a legitimate reason to remove yourself from the situation.

And the whole “you abandoned her” narrative conveniently ignores that the two girls causing the problem are the ones who chose to sit there, not her.

Getting your seat kicked isn’t anyone’s idea of a good time.

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Author

Benjamin Cottrell

Benjamin Cottrell | Assistant Editor, Internet Culture

Benjamin Cottrell is an Assistant Editor and contributing writer at TwistedSifter, specializing in internet culture, viral social dynamics, and the moral complexities of online communities. He brings a highly analytical, editorial voice to his reporting on workplace conflicts, malicious compliance, and interpersonal drama, with a specific focus on nuanced stories that lack an obvious villain.

As a published author of rhetorical criticism, Benjamin leverages his academic background in human communication to dissect and elevate viral social media threads. Instead of simply summarizing events, he provides readers with balanced, deep-dive commentary into why the internet reacts the way it does. In addition to his cultural reporting, he is an experienced fine art photography essayist and video game reviewer.

When he isn’t analyzing the latest viral debates, Benjamin is usually chipping away at his extensive video game backlog, hunting down the best new restaurants, or out exploring the city with a camera in hand.

Connect with Benjamin on Instagram and read more of his essays on Substack.