“You Should Have Asked Me”: Mom Furious After Husband Takes Daughter for Pre-Vacation Haircut
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Getting one task crossed off the pre-vacation checklist would usually be considered a win. But one dad learned that taking care of his daughter’s hair without consulting his wife first was apparently more complicated than he realized.
While getting his own hair braided ahead of an upcoming trip, OP had his daughter with him and realized his braider had some unexpected free time. Since his wife was already planning to do their daughter’s hair the next day, he figured paying an extra $30 to have it done professionally would save her the trouble.
Instead of being relieved, however, his wife was upset that he made the decision without her—and especially disappointed that she’d lost an opportunity she’d been looking forward to sharing with their daughter.
AITA For Getting my daughter’s hair done w/o my wife’s ‘permission’?
We’re going on vacation in a few days.
I did my hair on Wednesday because I don’t really want to take care of my hair while I’m on vacation.
My daughter came with me because nobody was around, and my braider really likes seeing her.
What a fun day.
Since it was Wednesday, she didnt have any clients until later in the evening.
So I asked her if she’d do my daughtrrs hair for like $30 extra dollars since I didn’t book. She said fine,. and did it.
When my wife got back from work, she was pretty mad at me.
Huh?
For a few reasons: I didn’t tell her, I didn’t ask to see if she liked the style (even though she did say later she liked it), and her not having ‘quality time’ to do stuff like that with her.
Me, I thought I was doing her a favor, and i apologized but said that those reasons were kind of nonsensical. She wasnt happy after I said the last part.
AITA? I know she planned on doing it tomorrow actually but she just canceled it so I don’t see the big deal.
The responses leaned toward YTA, although many felt getting his daughter’s hair done wasn’t the problem by itself. Commenters understood why OP thought he was doing something helpful, but pointed out that he already knew his wife planned to do their daughter’s hair the following day. A quick text before changing those plans could have avoided the entire disagreement.
More importantly, readers felt OP missed what his wife was actually upset about. Doing their daughter’s hair wasn’t simply another chore she wanted taken off her plate; it was quality time she valued with her child. What OP viewed as saving her some work was something she viewed as losing a moment she’d been anticipating.
Many also thought his response made matters worse. Although OP apologized, immediately calling his wife’s reasons “nonsensical” effectively dismissed the feelings he was supposedly apologizing for. Even if he couldn’t understand why the hair appointment mattered so much to her, commenters felt he could have respected that it did.
Ultimately, this seemed less like a major parenting offense and more like a well-intentioned decision followed by a poorly handled disagreement. OP may have thought he was checking something off the vacation to-do list, but his wife never considered it a chore in the first place.
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This person has some questions…
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a group of friends who were denied a townhome lease because they’re not considered a “family.”
This person votes soft YTA.
And this person is more on the YTA side, but needs some clarification.
Sometimes taking something off your partner’s plate backfires when it was something they never wanted taken away.Sometimes taking something off your partner’s plate backfires when it was something they never wanted taken away.
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