He Tried to Ask Nicely About the Blinding Floodlights—Then the Neighbor’s Refusal Made Things Ugly
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Outdoor lights can look great until they turn someone else’s bedroom into a nightly imitation of sunrise.
One homeowner asks a neighbor to use his bright string lights only while outside, so when he refuses, would you keep negotiating or escalate?
The dispute grows once the lights stay on for hours, several neighbors complain, and local rules start entering the conversation.
Check out why one backyard decoration became a neighborhood-wide brightness problem.
AITA for asking my neighbor to only use these yard lights when they are outside to enjoy them?
A week ago, my neighbor strung about 150 feet of lights from the three-board fence around his yard. He hung them in the open space below the top rail. These are large bulb-type string lights, not like Christmas lights.
About 50 feet of this is on our shared fence line, and he did it without asking me. He then set them on a timer from dusk to 11 p.m., every day of the week.
These things are BRIGHT, and the way the fall line shines into our first floor at eye level. They also illuminate the blinds upstairs like it is early morning, just before dawn.
When he saw the neighbor outside, he tried to reason with him.
They’ve been up for about a week, and when my neighbor was out in the yard yesterday, I went over and talked to him. I told him that I think string lights can be beautiful, and the ones he put up have a good aesthetic, but they are very bright.
I asked him if he would please only use them when they’re out in the yard rather than leave them on a timer, as they are very distracting and disruptive on a nightly basis.
He told me that he would rather compromise by shortening the timer from dusk until 10 PM.
And I said this won’t work. It doesn’t change how disruptive they are to us.
Even with facts, the guy still acted like he did nothing wrong.
He then said, “Well, they are relaxing to me when I walk by the window, and I want to leave them on.”
At this point, I had to call out that this is not only against our HOA, which doesn’t allow hanging lights that are not shielded, but it also goes against three town ordinances, and he cannot modify a shared fence line in our city without my consent.
He said that I am just trying to ruin the fun for everyone.
Unfortunately for him, all of the neighbors agree that the lights need to go.
I’m holding a double standard because other houses in other parts of the neighborhood have string lights, and have had them for months, and clearly I haven’t complained about those houses, or the HOA isn’t going to do anything.
I then informed him that I was absolutely looking out for the greater good, as were the other five neighbors around us. We have all spoken and do not want the lights on every night.
He insisted that I was just refusing to compromise, so I told him that I’d file a complaint with the HOA and the city ordinance office.
AITA?
Wow! This guy sounds like he’s something else.
Let’s see what advice Reddit readers have to offer.
According to this person, that’s why there are rules.
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For this reader, the neighbor will reap what he sows.
This person offers some advice.
If you enjoyed this post, check out this story about a student who did the math and figured out he was better off skipping school than serving detention if he forgot his ID.
Here’s how someone else dealt with this issue.
The homeowner first asked politely, but the neighbor preferred shortening the timer instead of fixing how badly the lights disrupted nearby homes.
Once HOA rules, town ordinances, and the shared fence came up, the disagreement became much more than a simple decorating preference.
Several commenters felt the polite approach had already failed, making an HOA or city complaint the reasonable next move.
The neighbor wanted relaxing ambiance, but apparently installed enough of it for the entire block.
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