She Asked Her Roommate’s Boyfriend Not To Practice DJing At 11 P.M.—Now She’s Being Called Controlling
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Supporting someone’s passion does not mean letting them take over someone else’s home.
One woman reached that point after her roommate’s boyfriend started using their apartment to practice his DJ sets.
At first, he only came by occasionally, so she didn’t mind.
Then, he started bringing speakers over several nights a week and playing music until almost midnight.
When she finally asked him to stop, both he and her roommate acted like she was the problem.
Keep reading for the full story.
AITA for refusing to let my roommate’s “man” practice his DJ set in our apartment at 11pm on a Tuesday?
I (23F) have lived with my roommate Priya (24F) for almost two years.
We’ve always split things pretty fairly—chores, quiet hours, guests. All of it worked out because we communicated.
Genuinely one of the easiest living situations I’ve had.
Sadly, everything changed when her roommate found a boyfriend.
About four months ago, she started dating a guy who’s really into DJing as a hobby.
Nice enough guy when I’ve met him, but he’s decided our apartment is his practice space because his own place has thin walls and his neighbors complained.
At first it was occasional—an hour on a Saturday afternoon, headphones half the time. I didn’t mind. But it’s escalated.
Now, he’s staying over way too often.
Last week he was here three nights, and Tuesday he had his full setup going (not headphones, actual speakers) until almost midnight because, according to him, he has a set this weekend and needs to feel the room.
I work an early shift and have to be up at 5:30 a.m. I knocked on Priya’s door around 11:15 and asked if they could wrap up or at least drop the volume since I had work in six hours. He got visibly annoyed, made a comment about how creative work doesn’t run on a schedule, and Priya didn’t really back me up, just kind of laughed it off and said he’d wrap up soon.
He didn’t wrap up for another 40 minutes.
Exhausted, she snapped and tried to set some firm boundaries.
The next morning I was exhausted and snapped at Priya a little, telling her that her boyfriend can’t keep using our shared space like it’s his personal studio, especially not on a weeknight, and that going forward he needs to ask before setting up, not just show up and assume it’s fine.
She’s now saying I’m being controlling and that I’m making her choose between me and him over “just a little noise.”
Her boyfriend apparently thinks I’m uptight and clearly don’t get artists. A mutual friend told me I could’ve handled it more gently since he’s just passionate. I don’t think wanting quiet on a Tuesday night in my own home is unreasonable, but now I feel like the uptight roommate who can’t support anyone’s dreams.
AITA?
Oh no! It’s always sad to hear about situations that go downhill like this.
Let’s see how the folks over at Reddit would feel if it were them.
This person thinks the roommate and her BF are selfish.
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This may not be the best way to handle it.
Here’s an excellent suggestion.
According to this reader, the roommate may not be so reasonable after all.
If you enjoyed this post, check out this story about neighbors who intentionally tank an open house sale because they want to buy the property themselves.
His own neighbors already complained about the noise, so bringing the same problem into her apartment isn’t a solution.
He needs to find something that works for everyone, such as practicing during the day or using headphones to keep the noise down.
Also, her roommate needs to stop treating her request for sleep like an attack on the relationship.
The bottom line is that being passionate about music doesn’t give anyone the right to keep someone awake in their own home.
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