She Brought Her Own Mini Fridge and Microwave to the Dorm, But Her Mom Is Adamant They’re Not Communal Property—Even as Roommates Expect Otherwise
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It can be hard to know what you’re expected to share when you’re living with roommates for the first time.
One college student is dealing with that as she gets ready to move into a dorm with three other people.
Her roommates seem very focused on sharing supplies, but her mother has specifically asked her to keep the things she paid for to herself.
That includes a mini fridge and microwave, which the student hasn’t mentioned yet.
Now, she feels stuck between respecting her mom’s wishes and worrying that her roommates will think she’s selfish.
Read on to see what you would do in this same situation.
WIBTA: If I Didn’t Share My Mini Fridge and Microwave With My Other Roommates?
I’m moving into my dorm in about a week. I’m a first-year student and a bit unsure about college etiquette.
It may seem like a no-brainer answer, but I struggle a lot with the morality of my actions and tend to go into these death spirals about how good I am for every action I take.
I’m a first-generation college student with two immigrant parents from the islands. My mother is the only one working and thus the only one providing for all my college supplies.
Where she currently lives, there are four other roommates.
Why is this important? Because my mom made me promise not to share any of my personal items, citing her “working too hard all by herself and amassing too much debt to make sure you’re all set for the future, not other children who have it to spend.”
Here’s the part I’m conflicted about. I have four roommates, one of them being an acquaintance of mine since grade school. Let’s call them Robin.
They’re all really chill and nice, but they’ve been really pressing about who is bringing what to our dorm. It’s to the point that every roommate we get, it’s practically the first question they roll out the gate. They are extremely insistent on sharing anything that we can to the point that it’s a pressing issue.
She wants to listen to her mom, but also doesn’t want to upset her roommates.
Because of the fact that it’s my mother’s money and debt, I do want to listen to her, since she’s the one who’s had to suffer to put me through college to achieve a life that she wants for me.
But I also feel like a *** for not being upfront about the fact that I AM bringing a microwave and a mini fridge.
So now I feel a conflict between wanting to be a good friend while also wanting to listen to my mother.
Now, she just needs some advice.
I also want to add that I have certain dietary restrictions, as well as being kind of a freak whose home fridge is already filled to the brim with protein shakes and exact measurements of certain foods shared out for me for the week, and that’s with a normal-sized fridge.
I don’t know if it helps to also visualize the setup. Everyone here has a separate room, including me. There are 4 people in total and one common room.
Please helppppp.
Oh no! This sounds pretty stressful, but it’s probably easy to resolve.
Let’s see what advice the fine folks over at Reddit have to offer.
This person doesn’t even think this should be a problem.
According to this comment, she should share.
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It’s all about boundaries for this reader.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a person who is thinking of alerting the city to their neighbor’s campers being lived-in while parked on the street.
Here’s a good point.
She really doesn’t need to feel guilty about this.
Her mom worked hard to buy those things for her, so it makes sense that she wants her daughter to be careful with them.
Besides, sharing a dorm doesn’t automatically mean everyone gets to use everything another person brings.
She can still be a good roommate without turning her personal belongings into community property.
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