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It can be fun to go out to lunch with a coworker, and sometimes it is natural to go on a regular schedule.
What would you do if you have been going to lunch with a coworker once a week for a long time, but now you aren’t comfortable with it, and you want to end the habit?
That is the situation that the woman in this story is in, so she wants to find a way to cancel future lunches without causing drama. Unfortunately, the coworker in question is known for causing drama.
Personally, I think she is making too big of a deal about it. Just find an excuse and let her know. It doesn’t have to be a big thing. Read through the full story below, and see what you think.
How to politely stop going to lunch with a coworker when it has become an unspoken weekly habit and a burden to you ?
I used to go out to lunch with this coworker about once a week, and over time it just became expected.
At first I didn’t mind because I didn’t know her well, but now it honestly feels like a burden rather than something I look forward to.
If it doesn’t fit in your budget, don’t go. There is no need to explain it.
One of the reasons is that she always wants to go to expensive places, and that doesn’t fit with my financial goals right now.
Whenever I suggest somewhere more budget-friendly, she’ll mock the food or make a big deal out of how bad she thinks it is, so I stopped suggesting cheaper places altogether.
I don’t want to bring up money as the reason because I’m pretty sure she’d call me stingy and probably tell other people at work.
Why keep going out to lunch at all then?
The bigger issue is that I don’t really feel comfortable around her.
She’s not someone I can talk to openly, and I always feel like I have to filter everything I say because I don’t trust her.
I’ve heard her repeat other coworkers’ private business, so I assume anything I tell her could eventually be shared too.
It only becomes a problem if you let it.
Her sense of humor also makes me uncomfortable.
Sometimes she’ll bring things into the office or point things out about me to other coworkers because she thinks it’s funny, but to me it comes across as mean-spirited or even bullying.
Everyone else seems to laugh, but I just end up feeling awkward.
The problem is that this weekly lunch has become such a habit that I feel like simply saying “no” will turn into a whole thing.
It is time to stand up for herself.
I don’t want to hurt her feelings, create drama at work, or have her start talking about me to other coworkers.
At the same time, I really don’t want to keep spending my lunch breaks this way anymore.
Has anyone been in a similar situation? How would you slowly stop these lunches without being rude or making it obvious that you’re trying to distance yourself?
If you’ve dealt with someone who tends to gossip or take things personally, what worked for you?
There are lots of ways to end this habit without causing drama. Even just saying that you are going to be bringing in your lunch from now on is sufficient. If the coworker makes it into a big issue, that is on her.
Let’s take a look at what the top commenters on Reddit has to say about this story.
It is called setting boundaries.
Yup, this would work perfectly.
These are all good options.
Here is a very simple way to deal with it, but it really can be this easy.
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This commenter makes a good point.
Don’t overthink things like this. Just stop going to lunch and see what happens. Chances are, the coworker will find someone else to go to lunch with, and it won’t be an issue.
If it is an issue, just focus on the job and getting things done. Don’t worry about silly workplace gossip.