Lumber comes in all shapes and sizes, and you need to know what you need in order to complete a project properly.

What would you do if your manager asked you to help a customer who really didn’t have any idea what she actually needed?

That is what happened to the guy in this story, but after a number of frustrating steps, he might have actually gotten her what she needed. Then again, she might just come back tomorrow to try to return it.

Read through the frustrating story for yourself.

How some people manage to survive into their forties is beyond me.

Part of my job is to cut lumber to customer specifications, I can’t do anything fancy like forty five degree angles, but I can make short work out of long boards.

It is always trouble when a coworker passes a customer off to you.

This tends to be one of my favorite parts of what I do because I get to be really involved in customer projects, but first I sometimes have to decipher what that project even is.

Adam, who works in sales, flagged me down and brought a woman over to me and just nodded in my direction before walking off while she was mid-sentence. I got that feeling in my gut like this was gonna be a long day.

Why are some people rude all the time?

Waving a piece of paper in my face:

“I need these pieces of lumber please. And I need them all cut.”

Not taking the paper from her (Much like Iron Man I do not like strangers handing me things)

He is being very polite, at least.

“Sure thing Ma’am, what can I get for you today?”

“I need some two-by-sixes, two-by-tens and two-by-twelves.”

“Sure thing, what length do you need those boards to be?”

She isn’t understanding.

“Yes.”

That wasn’t a yes or no question so I thought maybe she misunderstood me.

“How long do you need the boards to be Ma’am?”

Those aren’t lengths.

“Two-by-six, two-by-ten and two-by-twelve.”

At this point I figure she just doesn’t know much about lumber, so I took the piece of paper from her. Sure enough it says ” 2×6 2×10 2×12 two of each” and nothing else so I take the time to explain what this means.

Is she finally getting it?

“Ma’am the notation two-by-six means that a board is two inches thick and six inches wide, I need to know how long you would like the boards to be.”

At this point she smiles and nods her head at me like she finally understands.

Nope, she is clueless.

“Yes! I need two of those! Can you put them on a cart for me? I also need you to cut them each in half.”

Sigh

“Sure thing Ma’am, could you just point towards a board that looks long enough for your needs?”

This way might actually be cheaper anyway.

This worked quite well because she pointed to some boards immediately to her left which happened to be eight feet long. I collected her boards but ran into a problem with the two-by-twelves since I only carry them in twelve or sixteen foot lengths.

“Ma’am I don’t have any eight foot lengths of two-by-twelve but I have a sixteen foot board I can cut into quarters for you.”

It would be the exact same thing.

“Oh no that won’t do! I need two boards cut in half.”

“Well I don’t have any boards in that size that are this same length, the closest thing I have are my twelve foot boards.”

“Oh yes that will do.”

What does she want now?

Shoulder shrug. I grab the wood and take her over to my panel saw and decide to cut the two-by-twelves first since they are the most cumbersome.

It was just after I finished cutting the second board that I see her inspecting the lumber I pulled and put onto a cart for her when she motions for me to come over and see what shes looking at.

Of course they aren’t the same size.

“This isn’t right is it? These boards aren’t the same size?”

“No Ma’am they are not. The smaller one is six inches wide and the larger is ten inches wide, just like you asked for.”

Did this lady not know that wood comes in different sizes?

“No that isn’t right. These are supposed to fit together to form a box. A big square. I am making a raised planter for my garden.”

“Well I am not sure how the pieces will fit together once your planter is complete but it won’t be a square, the pieces I just cut for you are all six feet long and these other pieces will be four feet long when I cut them.”

It is fine if she doesn’t know what she is doing, but she shouldn’t pretend that she does.

“Uh-huh yeah that will make my box, but why aren’t these all the same height? That will look silly right if they are different sizes, you’ve done this before?”

“Made a planter before? Yes, but I used boards that were all the same size. Could you get your husband on the phone for me? Maybe he can explain his idea to me before I cut any more lumber?”

Whatever, lady. Just get someone on the phone.

‘”Gardener.”

“What?”

“Gardener. He is not my husband, he is my gardener and no I can’t call him. He just wrote this down for me and told me to pick these up so he can build my planters for me.”

Maybe she does know what she wants.

She had been pretty cheerful up to this point but I could see I had made her mad by assuming she was running errands for her husband. I figured a little back tracking on my part and a healthy dose of guest service smile might do the trick.

“Oh your making two planters? Oh I am sure these will fit together just fine then, your gardener probably wants one slightly deeper to better accommodate the plants. I’ll just finish up real fast.”

He is doing exactly what you asked for.

I cut the rest of her lumber as quickly as I could and was looking forward to being done so I could start working on something else when she stopped me and started examining her lumber again.

“Why are these boards longer than the others?”

“Those are the twelve inch wide boards. I didn’t have any that were eight feet long so you had me cut two twelve foot boards in half?”

Why didn’t she just have her gardener come in?

We just did this, she remembers right?

“But these will fit together right? My box will look alright?”

“Well yes. . . It will look fine but it won’t be a square your planters will be in a rectangle shape.”

She doesn’t really understand shapes.

“Right! A rectangle-square for my plants.”

What. The. Heck.

At this point I was willing to agree with anything she said so long as it got the transaction over with.

At least she is happy.

“Yes Ma’am! Rectangle-Square! I can wheel this up to the front for you if you have any other shopping to do today?”

Please God let her have some other shopping to do today.

“Oh that would be wonderful!”

Some people are so hard to help.

Her good mood had returned

“Your so sweet! I’ll just finish gathering up a few other things.”

Big sigh of relief as I wheeled her things up front and now I can’t hear someone say Box without thinking Rectangle-Square to myself.

It seems pretty likely that she will be back to try to return the pre-cut wood.

Let’s see what the people in the comments have to say about it.

He didn’t mean anything negative by it. Clearly she wasn’t shopping for herself.

It is almost certain that she will be back.

This commenter isn’t wrong.

Customers can be very frustrating; that’s for sure.

The gardener just wanted her gone.

I’m not sure he should have cut the wood when she wasn’t sure what she needed. Odds are, she will try to return it, which won’t be allowed.

Maybe he explained to her that there were no returns on custom lumber.