College Roommates Are Butting Heads Over Chores — It’s Gotten So Bad One Is Ready to Move Out
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Going to college is exciting for many reasons, but the opportunity to live with roommates is a big one. Sure, you might not have met them before the year starts, but you’re all in the same boat and are likely to make some good friends through your years there. They might not always be the first people you meet, but hanging out with the folks assigned to the same dorm room as you is always a good place to start.
However, it’s clear that you’re not always going to be paired well, and sometimes it might be the case that you butt heads with the folks – or at least one person – that you’ve been assigned to share with. The good news? If that’s the case, you only have to live there for a year, and if things get really bad you might even be able to request a move. But for the most part, some good communication will do wonders for getting along.
However, that doesn’t seem to be working for the students in this story.
Read on to find out what happened here.
Am I overreacting if I sublet my apartment after what my roommate said to me?
I’m a uni student with two roommates who are also uni students (we’re all 20 and female).
One of my roommates does this thing where she’ll randomly tell me that I have to do chores in group settings. For example, one morning I was taking out the recycling.
My roommate remarked “Recycling again?” and I replied “Yeah haha, I don’t want to take out the trash right now.”
We laughed about it, and continued on with our day.
But it turned out that wasn’t the end of things.
When all of my roommates and I were hanging out in the living room later in the evening, my roommate out of nowhere said “[my name], you know you can’t just take out the recycling. You have to take out the trash too.”
I gave her a weird look and just said “Okay…” and moved on.
I didn’t enjoy how it was in front of the other roommate and out of nowhere, but I moved on quickly.
This is one of the many examples.
Let’s see what happened most recently to cause upset between these two roommates.
What set me off today was when she texted the roommate group chat and said “Hey [my name] can you get some paper towels for the apartment pls.” And I replied “Dawg just text me personally.”
I then followed up with her individually and asked her if she could please refrain from talking about issues or requests in front of other people. I felt like she was calling me out of nowhere, and I didn’t appreciate it.
She got defensive and replied “It’s not a personal issue? I was just asking you to grab paper towels?” And I replied that I understood it wasn’t personal, but I would appreciate it if she could text me personally instead of in the group chat.
She then said she wanted to talk in person, so I waited for her to come back to the apartment.
Read on to find out what happened when they spoke.
When we began talking, I said how I was feeling. I mentioned how it felt like she was making incredibly targeted demands only at me. She reiterated that it’s not a big deal, it’s just paper towels and I repeated myself by asking if she could just message me next time.
She then said, “This seems like something you’re insecure about. You don’t like the way I say things when chores need to get done. This looks like a you problem, not a me problem.”
I was shocked, and I said “Maybe it is a me problem. But I would appreciate it if you listened to how I was feeling and acknowledged how you’re hurting my feelings.” She first responded “I don’t want to say sorry or that I’ll change because I’m in a bad mood right now. I’m very hungry.”
She then kept responding “Okay,” to every time I mentioned how I was feeling, and I brought up how I felt like she wasn’t listening. Again, all I got was an “Okay.” After about three okays later, she cuts me off and said “I’m done with this conversation. I’m going back to my room now.”
Yikes. Now this student feels like she needs to take more serious action.
Now this goes back to subletting my apartment. I just got a job for the summer and was super excited to stay near my university, so I didn’t plan on subletting. I told my roommates and they were excited I was staying.
The one I fought with was particularly on edge about subletting, so I took a huge weight off of her shoulders. Now my plan is to find a subletter in secret and only tell them a few days before I move out. My plan once I find a subletter is to sublet at my friend’s house, where I’ll have cheaper rent.
Unfortunately the other roommate who I have no problems with will get caught in the crossfire. I feel like I can’t tell her anything because she’ll immediately report to the other roommate. I have the wifi plan and router under my name, so they’ll be left to fend for themselves once I cancel my plan.
So, Am I overreacting if I sublet my apartment after what my roommate said to me?
It’s clear that, for whatever reason, these roommates aren’t working well together.
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Perhaps it’s a communication issue, maybe it’s different boundaries or standards, but clearly these two aren’t seeing eye to eye, and it’s affecting things for everyone.
She tried talking, so maybe moving out is a better idea – though it’s a shame that the roommate who is no issue might end up getting hurt.
Let’s see what folks on Reddit made of this.
This person thought that this student was just being petty.
However, others thought that the roommate was being rude and overly demanding.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a family who finds a technicality in the law that allows them to keep their pool after their neighbors report it.
Meanwhile, this Redditor thought that the three of them just needed to have a seroius conversation.
Whether they decide to stay living together or not, it’s clear that they need to have a talk and clear the air here. The demanding roommate was being defensive when spoken to about the requests, while the student in question likely wasn’t helping out as much as they could have done, and got offended at being called out. Honestly, neither of them are totally in the right here. If they can iron things out, it makes sense for her to stay – with a new set of boundaries that all three of them stick to. Otherwise, maybe it’s time to get out of there.
But you really have to feel sorry for the other roommate who is stuck in the middle of all this. She has done nothing wrong, and is just in the unfortunate position of being stuck between two clashing characters. Springing a subletting stranger on her would really suck – but in the end, whatever it takes to keep the peace is probably what’s best for all of them.
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