He Moved into the Retirement Community to Be His Father’s Full-Time Aide—Then Executed a Code-of-Conduct Audit When the “Social Committee” Tried to Evict Him
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We’ve all been taught to respect our elders, and that’s solid advice. After all, older folk have a whole lot of wisdom after living on this world for decades, and there is a lot we can learn from them. But more importantly, we should be treating all those around us with respect, regardless of age – it’s simply the kind thing to do.
But what about when you get old and you are one of the elders? Well, you might understandably expect younger folk to respect you – maybe give up their seat on the bus when you’re struggling to stand, or offer to help you carry your groceries. But if you expect anything more – and don’t approach such kindnesses with humility and gratitude – then regardless of your age, you’re acting entitled. And it doesn’t matter how old you are, that’s never a nice thing to be.
The guy in this story is a younger guy living in an older folks’ facility to care for his ageing father. You’d expect the residents to be excited by a spring chicken in their proximity – but sadly the truth was very different.
Read on to find out what happened.
Am I a scumbag for treating elders the same way I treat everyone?
Unfortunately, I live in a 55+ older community as a caretaker for my father. I’m not that young anymore, but most can look and tell I’m not that old either (which is good, I guess?).
We had a lot of issues in the beginning, and the HOA gave us hell at every chance they got.
The owner of the property is like a Grandma to me. But she has never lived in this unit, so I guess the people here don’t like the fact that they weren’t informed about us prior to moving in.
We’ve lived here for about two years now, but they have not been easy. Thankfully I left in January 2025 and only came back about eight months ago, so I haven’t been here throughout the entire time myself.
Let’s see what kind of issues they have faced.
Within the first few weeks, I was accosted multiple times in the corridors as I would enter or exit the property. This was done by a power-hungry member of the HOA board who has seemingly gone out of his way to make my life a living hell throughout my time staying here.
It was hard at first, but after a while, my grandmother started to take it up for us as she realised we were constantly being harassed without having caused any trouble.
We still deal with the occasional stuff here and there, but I just choose not to interact with any of the board members whenever I see them out.
I’ve always kept it respectful on my end, because I’m not looking to mess this up for my dad.
However the residents aren’t extending them the same courtesy.
Now, as far as the residents go, these people are the most rude and entitled people on the planet and it’s insane. It makes me wanna just blow the entire building up sometimes.
I walk past people in the hallways, wave and say hello, but they just look at me like i’m an alien. A lot of them give you dirty looks and some of them even size you up.
One lady did it to my wife and I was so disgusted by it that I won’t even look in any of our neighbors’ directions anymore. Just sick and tired of the constant and utter disrespect.
Add to that the fact that we don’t live in the best area, so naturally any tangible financial opportunities that can be lucrative are slim to none. Half the tenants are French-Canadian snowbirds, so the majority of the building remains vacant ten months out the year which is pretty nice.
But while this guy has been living there, he’s struggled to put up with all the residents’ behaviour.
The problem is that the permanent residents constantly beef with each other like overgrown teenagers. I swear to God half the time it genuinely feels like I’m living inside of a Real World house.
They’ve tried many times to pick issues with me, but I’m too young to care and I honestly have my plate full of my own stuff.
I try not to be disrespectful or dismissive, but I also go the other way when I see any of them walking towards me. My grandmother owns the place and I really do not need to hear about any more calls that she may have gotten from other residents or members of the board.
It sucks especially because every single day I try to remain humble. Maybe if we all respected each other a bit more, the morale and quality of life would be much better. I’ve always had faith in humanity, but that “respect your elders” nonsense is outta the window for me.
It really sucks that this guy is stuck living in this situation, but he’s a great guy for caring for his dad.
What a shame that the residents can’t see that, and are instead treating him like he’s an outsider, or an awful person.
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Let’s see what folks on Reddit made of this.
This person was clear that the problem was with the old folks.
While others thought that his grandmother should explain the situation and set some ground rules with the residents.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a disabled woman who confronts her neighbors about using her spot, only to have them tell her they can park where they want.
Meanwhile, this Redditor shared a similar experience they’d had.
It’s a real shame that these older people are reacting with hostility and discrimination to this guy who is living in their complex, presumably because he’s younger. Well newsflash: he has just as much right to be there as they do. The truth is, maybe they don’t understand why a younger guy is living among them, but it’s up to them to ask if they don’t understand. They shouldn’t be making assumptions as the basis for their horrible behaviour.
Just because you’re old doesn’t entitle you to treat others poorly. Age is not a ticket to being able to behave horribly and just have that accepted by the people around you. No, what they are doing has a name: bullying. And in a school setting this would be dealt with, so there is no reason why older folk shouldn’t be facing consequences for making this guy’s life miserable too.
He’s doing a good thing by caring for his dad. They need to look into their hearts to see that, rather than just making things even worse for him.
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