Having a baby (or babies) can be really exciting, and is a dream for many. However, for some people having children is a contentious topic. Maybe they’re struggling to conceive, maybe they’ve lost a child, perhaps they can’t find the person they want to raise a child with but don’t want to do it alone, or maybe they don’t want kids at all and are sick of people telling them they should. These are all reasons not to question a person’s childlessness, with the other reason being that it’s none of your business.

But if someone you know or care about is having a baby, of course it’s time to celebrate. Because a new baby is a reason for joy, and the new parents (while they may be exhausted) will most likely be over the moon that they have a new person in their little family. But just as with people who don’t have children, when a woman has a new baby there are certain questions and topics that it’s best to steer clear of, allowing her to take the lead if she wants to discuss it. And then there are questions that are so outright rude that you need to keep your curiosity to yourself – and the guy in this story just stumbled upon probably the worst of them all while visiting a friend and her new babies.

Read on to find out what he asked her.

AITA for privately asking my friend about the paternity of her children

A few years ago, my close childhood friend gave birth to triplets.

Her husband is a light black man.

Of the three, two were the same skin tone as her husband, and the third was much darker.

The skin tones made me a little suspicious that her husband might not be the father.

Uh-oh. Let’s see how this woman dealt with her suspicions.

I pulled her aside privately and asked her seriously if her husband was the father.

She didn’t even listen or answer rationally, she just freaked out at me and acted super insulted and kicked me out.

I reached out to her husband and told him about her reaction, and told him he should get a paternity test.

He called me an ******* and blocked me. Neither has spoken to me since.

Now, this ‘friend’ is still confused about what they did wrong.

I’ve always thought that they dramatically over reacted and were probably hiding something because of their responses, but they’re still married and sometimes I feel bad about what happened.

I just felt a lot of empathy for her husband because I would be devastated if I wasn’t confident that I was the father of my future children.

Was I an ******* for asking privately?

AITA?

Wow, this is beyond rude.

Sometimes people need to think before they open their mouths, but years have passed and this guy still doesn’t understand what he did wrong.

Like, imagine what you’re accusing her of – someone who is supposed to be your friend?

Let’s see what the Reddit community made of this.

This person was flabbergasted at the guy’s ignorance.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a friend group that’s split when one roommate backs out of their dream apartment.

While others explained that other factors might also be involved.

Meanwhile, this Redditor explained exactly why he was the bad guy in this situation.

The fact that he didn’t spend the years since this incident revisiting and understanding exactly why his words had been so offensive is astounding. Not only did he accuse his friend of cheating on her husband, he also then tried to push her husband into not trusting his wife too. That kind of behaviour doesn’t scream ‘friend’ to anyone. But to have the audacity as to imply that his friend and her husband were overreacting to his question by cutting him out of their lives shows just how ignorant he really is.

Unless you’re exceedingly close with someone and have real, genuine reason and evidence that might tell you that a woman has duped her husband into raising another man’s child, you should absolutely never do this. Because honestly, it’s none of your business. You don’t know about their situation, about how difficult it may have been for them to conceive, anything about their marriage really. Because you’re not a part of their marriage. So how about you back off and either be happy for them, or keep your nose out?