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Helping family through a crisis can feel compassionate until that assistance threatens your own financial stability.

One young woman faced that dilemma after her roommate and aunt unexpectedly lost her job and needed several months of rent covered.

Instead of immediately opening her savings, OP considered what assuming two people’s expenses could do to her own future.

Let’s see where she drew the financial line.

AITA for refusing to lend my aunt money to cover her rent?

“I’m 20f and my life is kind of a mess. I am heading back to school in fall and I work full time (the only way I can afford school and housing) and I need to buy a car.

I am struggling a lot with everything, whether I really want to go to school, my health that gets worse by the day, low energy, my mental health is terrible and I work full time.

She has even more on her plate…

My aunt expects me to do everything for her since I speak English and I’m her closest relative while she is out of the country. She is a sweetheart and I love her but she expects me to do everything she can’t while she’s out of the country.

This includes going to her house, checking her mail, answering her mail for her, answering emails, calling institutions and she calls me more than 30-40 times a week.

I only answer her when I can because I’m super preoccupied but she is so persistent.

Well she called me like 15 times since the last time we spoke (two days ago) and apparently months ago she received a mail and it had to be filled out or her housing benefits would be cut.

This is a lot of pressure.

I opened all of her mail and saw no such thing and now her benefits are cut and she expects me to lend her at least $600. I know she has other connections who can lend her the money but I know its pretty last minute.

She can almost never make her rent regardless and I’m beginning to get fed up because of what Im going through.

She is helping me still but I do a lot of extra running around for her and even though she lives 2 hours from my place by transit and I have no car, she still wants me to check her mail every two weeks, which is understandable but she doesn’t get that I only have so much time to rest.

I also can’t sleep so I basically run off of low energy the rest of the time.

I am also going to be registering her five kids for school in the next two weeks which is another load but I can manage it.

She needs some wheels!

My problem is, I desperately need a car. I have to commute more than one hour with transit for work and school will be a huge issue as well if I don’t get a car by the end of next month.

I need all the cash I can get so I can buy the car I need and she already owes me $600 (she’s lent me before so I have no issues again and she always pays me back).

Am I a bad person for saying I have no money even though I do but it’s for the car?

I genuinely have little money, I have been saving for so long and now its finally time to buy it and she expects me to cover another expense (she almost always had to borrow for her rent anyways).

I told her I had no money and she still insists on me finding it.

I have lent out more than $4000 (bad decisions, yea I’m aware) this year to other family which I deeply regret because I know I won’t get most of it back and I want to put an end to the cycle.

Am I a bad person for not helping with her rent?”

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Reddit users shared their thoughts.

This person said she’s NTA.

Another individual agreed.

This Reddit user shared their thoughts.

This person had a lot to say.

And this person said she’s NTA.

OP declined to cover her aunt’s rent for several months, explaining that her own bills and savings could not safely absorb both shares.

Folks in the comments section debated family assistance versus financial boundaries, though many agreed OP should not jeopardize her own housing stability.

Her aunt needed a rent bridge plan, but OP wisely noticed the proposed bridge was being constructed entirely from her own bank account…

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Author

Chris Allen