Her Boyfriend Invited His Parents to Stay at Their House Without Asking—And She’s Not Happy About It
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Whoa…
Wow!
I understand that part of being in relationship is dealing with your partner’s family, but I’d also argue that giving your spouse a heads-up about those folks coming to stay with you is usually a good idea…
Don’t you think so?
Well, this woman’s boyfriend clearly didn’t get the memo…and he told his parents they could come stay with them without clearing it with her first…and HE’S gonna be out of town.
Yikes!
Let’s take a look at what’s going on here.
AITA for being upset that my boyfriend invited his parents to stay in our home without talking to me first?
“My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years and share a home. The house is legally his, but I pay rent, contribute to household expenses, clean, and help care for the home. He has 2 sons whom we have half the time.
I’ve met his parents 4 or 5 times. I really like them and look forward to getting to know them better, but I still don’t know them that well.
This is pretty annoying…
My boyfriend has a habit of making or changing plans and telling me afterward. We’ve talked about it many times. I think we should talk to each other while plans are being made if they involve the other person, our home, or our shared schedule.
Not because I would say no or want to control him. I just think it’s respectful to run things by someone you share a home and life with.
He thinks plans happen in real time and that because he tells me afterward, I still know about them.
In early August, I was offered a dog sitting job for September. I told my boyfriend the dates that day. Dog sitting is normal for me, and if there had been a conflict, I could have turned down the job.
That weekend is supposed to be our weekend with the boys, but my boyfriend will be away sailing. I normally sail with him, but this time I’ll be dog sitting. Usually, if he is away, we switch weekends with the boys’ mom.
Oh, really…?
He then told me that in July he had invited his parents to stay with us for a week in September. They’ll be visiting and taking care of the boys while he’s sailing.
After I finish dog sitting, I would be home alone with his parents and the boys for most of Saturday and all day Sunday.
I’m happy they’re visiting and glad they’ll spend time with their grandsons. I just don’t know them well enough to feel comfortable spending that much time alone with them while my boyfriend isn’t there.
I’m sure they wouldn’t expect me to entertain them and would let me do my own thing, but I would feel rude ignoring guests in my home and would feel obligated to act as a host.
This is a lot to put on someone…
I’ve also never been alone with his parents and the boys before, and I don’t know them well enough to feel comfortable in that situation without my boyfriend there. I’m considering getting an Airbnb for those 2 days instead.
When I said I wished he had talked to me before confirming everything, he said I have 8 weeks of notice and the visit doesn’t interfere with my dog sitting plans. When he made the plans, he assumed I would be sailing with him.
His position is that because I don’t have to change my plans, it shouldn’t matter that he didn’t ask me first.
I like his parents, I want them to visit, and don’t want him to cancel. I just want us to talk to each other before inviting people to stay in our home.
For me, this isn’t about whether their visit interferes with my plans.
It’s about communication and having some say in what happens in the home we share.”
Here’s what readers had to say about this story.
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This person said she’s NTA.
Another Reddit user weighed in.
This individual didn’t hold back.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a group trip that sours when additional guests are added without agreement.
And another reader shared their thoughts.
This really is a lot to put on someone without asking them first.
I know I wouldn’t be happy about it!
Come on, dude…Not cool!
This might turn into a pretty awkward situation…
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