Everyone has certain boundaries that they want followed just because of how they feel, and in most situations, that should be respected.

What would you do if your girlfriend’s daughter and her boyfriend wanted to sleep in your bed while you were out of town, but you weren’t comfortable with it?

That is what happened to the guy in this story, but his girlfriend thinks he is wrong for restricting them like this, and he wants to know if his boundary is unreasonable.

Personally, I agree with him. They have another bed to sleep in, so why do they need to use his? Read through the full story below and see what you think about it.

AITA for refusing to let my girlfriend’s daughter and her boyfriend sleep in our bed while we were away?

I’m looking for outside opinions, especially from other men, because I genuinely want to know if my reaction is unreasonable.

Let’s see what the issue is here.

My girlfriend and I have been together for several years. Her adult daughter and her boyfriend have been staying with us for extended periods of time.

The main issue I keep coming back to is one specific boundary: our bed.

Why would they want to sleep in their bed?

While my girlfriend and I were going to be gone for the night, they asked if they could sleep in our bed. (Note, they have otherwise full access to the house, including a guest bedroom with a large bed.

At first glance, maybe some people would see that as just a practical sleeping arrangement. But my immediate reaction was a very strong “absolutely not.”

It is understandable why he would have this boundary.

The reason it bothered me so much is because I had heard that they had already stayed in our bed the entire time we were gone before. When I found out, I immediately told my girlfriend that this was a hard boundary for me.

I know people have different family cultures and comfort levels, but to me this feels extremely personal. This isn’t just a mattress. This is the bed my girlfriend and I share as a couple. It is our private space.

Not everyone has the same feelings on this, but his make sense.

I would personally never sleep in my girlfriend’s parents’ bed. As a man, the idea of sleeping in another man’s marital bed feels like crossing a line. I would feel like I was invading someone’s private space. Frankly, I find it absolutely repulsive.

What bothered me almost as much as the request was the reaction when we said no. They got upset/crying and immediately started packing their things. Only to unpack the car again once we left the house… Basically a tantrum for not getting their way and their tactic didn’t work. So they gave up on that part of the tantrum.

What else is contributing to his feelings?

There are other things that have contributed to why this has been bothering me:

Her daughter’s boyfriend has gone through her personal bags, looking through things she purchased and discussing what was inside.

At one point he saw a bottle of wine and made a judgmental comment to his girlfriend about her mom “getting into drinking now.”

They don’t respect their privacy.

There have been other moments where it felt like private things in our home were being treated as public.

They regularly stay with us for weeks at a time despite living only about an hour away, and sometimes it starts feeling less like a visit and more like they are living here.

It would be kind of awkward.

But honestly, the bed situation is the thing I want outside opinions on. Men especially: would you ever sleep in what is essentially your mother-in-law’s bed?

Would you consider that a normal request, or would it feel like crossing a pretty obvious boundary?

There is certainly nothing wrong with having this type of boundary in place. And it should be respected.

I’m not asking whether these people are bad.

I’m asking if my expectation that my bedroom should remain private is unreasonable or if others feel disgusting by the idea, especially the anger he had when we said no, that’s our private space.

AITA?

He has a very reasonable boundary, and it should be respected by his girlfriend should respect it.

Let’s take a look at some of the top comments on this story and see what they have to say.

This person says to stop having them over at all.

Locking the doors when they leave is a good idea.

Why do they even want to sleep in his bed?

This commenter says that he needs to be clear about his boundaries.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a sister who held up her end of a college savings bargain only to be ripped off by her scheming older sibling.

The guest bed is available, why do they need theirs?

Even if his boundary didn’t make sense, she should still respect it. The fact that what he is asking for is entirely reasonable makes it even more obvious.

On top of that, they clearly don’t respect privacy, which is a whole additional reason not to let them in the bedroom.