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When you live in an apartment, it is nice to try to live quietly so you don’t bother your neighbors, but you don’t have to be 100% silent either.

What would you do if your neighbors were constantly complaining that you were too loud, even though you did everything you reasonably could to keep the noise down?

That is what the people in this story were dealing with, and their neighbors even started getting aggressive about it, so they don’t really know what to do next.

Personally, I think they need to document everything that is happening and file complaints with the landlord to hopefully get it to stop. Read through the full story below and see if you agree.

Advice on what to do about aggressive downstairs neighbors

Just had an interesting interaction with our downstairs neighbors.

They seem like great neighbors.

For context, my wife and I (just married!) have lived in this apartment complex in the same place for just over 2 years. Entering 3rd year of renewal because it’s worked for us.

We have always had downstairs, upstairs, next door neighbors, etc, and never had a problem with anyone being too noisy, nor telling us that we are noisy.

Maybe the noise was coming from somewhere else, but it is good to be mindful.

Last month, we had some newcomers move in below us. Couple with a kid. Seemed fine at first. About 2 days after they moved in, though, the girlfriend came up and asked us if we could quiet our “stomping.”

Considering we’d been sitting watching a movie for an hour and had only been up once or twice to get water, I was confused! But I apologized, said we’d be more mindful, and that was that.

The neighbors are very sensitive to noise; it seems.

Since then, though, she’s just continued to bang on the ceiling at any times we’re getting home or try to do anything that could be noisy like cleaning, no matter what time it seems.

Tuesday last week my wife was vacuuming and mopping around 2-3 PM and she starting knocking on the ceiling endlessly. Then, on Thursday mid day we heard it again when we had just walked in the door.

Still, we’ve been trying to be quiet, I’ve even tried walking on my toes when I’m moving around the house because I don’t wanna be a bother. I know apartment living can be a pain for everyone.

Our current upstairs neighbors have two dogs and they’re incredibly loud around 5AM, but everyone has different schedules and I can’t expect the world to move around my life.

Things are really escalating here.

Tonight though, she started banging on the ceiling around 8:30 PM when my wife got home. She and her friend with her were bringing things from her car and was, of course, coming in and out of the apartment.

Obviously she’s not gonna be tiptoeing, and I don’t think we’d expect anyone to do so. My wife stomped in response, and then the girl began banging on the ceiling yelling swear words loud enough to where she could be heard from downstairs.

This neighbor really isn’t cut out for apartment living.

She and the friend stopped from there. I got home at 10:45 and it seemed things had been fine since then. When we left to drop the friend off at 11, though, we put our shoes on and exited the apartment.

When we walked down to our parking lot, she was at the window in their kitchen staring at us. I didn’t think much of it, I figured she was just doing dishes. We drove our friend home and back, got home around 11:20.

The girl was waiting at her car (or was just walking from it, I don’t think she was literally waiting) and then walked back to her apartment.

The neighbor is crossing the line here. They need to report it.

However, she then stood in her doorway staring down my wife, clearly trying to intimidate her. She made a comment about stomping again to her, and my wife responded we would try, but that she’d started banging on the ceiling the minute she got home.

The girl proceeded to start screaming, saying we were stomping and making her life miserable. She called my wife a *****, among other things.

There is really no reason to try to talk to the neighbors. They aren’t being rational.

My wife never called her anything (love her) but had to just flatly tell her “you live in a college apartment with no quiet hours.” She got mad.

I then tried to step in because it was getting unproductive, and I told her since she first came by we’ve been actively trying to be accommodating.

She still just kept talking in circles. Then I asked if she needed us to take our shoes off outside if it was too noisy (obviously I’m not going to do this because that’s ridiculous, right? I’m not crazy?) and then her boyfriend spoke up and said that the “females can talk but you don’t talk to a female like that” or something.

Document everything and ignore them as much as possible.

She then proceeded to call my wife an ugly **** and to “shut the **** up.” I said we’re done, then told the girl to just go home. She then yelled **** you and slammed the door.

So, what do I do going forward? I plan to go to the apartment office tomorrow, but I was just floored anyone would speak to us this way when we’ve actively made an effort to be quiet for them and we have never had a problem the entire time living here.

This couple is obviously not the problem.

I’ve been apartment living for 8 years and never had a complaint. What do I do if the apartment complex doesn’t do anything?

The way she was clearly trying to intimidate my wife did not make me comfortable.

Get a camera doorbell, document every interaction, and report them to the building manager for harassment every time it happens. Nobody should have to put up with this.

Read on to see what the people in the comments have to say about what is happening.

This commenter has a great suggestion.

Reporting the situation to the landlord is the obvious thing to do.

The neighbor has unrealistic expectations of what it is like to live in an apartment.

Recording what they are doing makes sense.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a renter who receives a text saying his landlord has passed and asking for checks to go to a different account, but he’s not sure it’s real.

There is no reason to drive yourself crazy trying to be quiet.

They do not have to put up with this type of harassment. In situations like this, documenting every interaction and reporting it to the landlord is often the most effective option.

Unfortunately, that often means that you have to put up with it for a while longer while you gather the evidence.