Her Girlfriend Had Been Lying To Her About Money And Gambling, So She Finally Moved Out — Even Though She Knew Her Girlfriend Couldn’t Cover The Bills Alone
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When you are in a committed relationship, you need to be able to trust each other deeply across all aspects of your life.
What would you do if you lived with your girlfriend, but you found out that she had been lying to you about some large debts that she had, and even that she was involved with online gambling, among other things?
That is what happened to the young lady in this story, and even while trying to get to the bottom of things, her girlfriend kept lying, which broke her trust. So, she has moved out of their shared apartment even though she knows that her girlfriend can’t afford to pay the rent. She feels bad, but she doesn’t know what else she could do.
Personally, I think this was the right move. It may mean the end of the relationship, but you can’t have a healthy relationship with someone like this anyway. Read through the full story below and see if you agree.
AITAH for leaving my [24F] GF’s [26F] apartment even though she cannot pay the rent?
AITAH for moving out due to my GFs financial secrecy?
Relationships can be very difficult.
Hello everyone. I would really like some outside perspective because I’m too emotionally involved to know if I’m thinking logically.
I’m 24F this is my first genuine adult relationship. We’ve been together for over a year and I really thought she was the person I was going to spend the rest of my life with.
Money secrets are terrible for any relationship.
Shes really been my best friend and biggest supporter during the hardest times in my life, especially with family issues. She’s the only person I have been comfortable and myself around.
The problem is trust around money and financial responsibility. Earlier in our relationship, I found that she had debts that I only discovered myself after she’d reassured me everything was okay.
If you can’t trust your partner, why even be with them?
I had previously asked if she had anything like this and she denied it. I asked multiple times. Following this we had conversations about honesty and transparency, and I believed things had changed.
Six months later I have found out that she has not paid the rent for last month. She recently lost her job, and I was hyper aware of this fact, so continually asked her if she has enough to cover bills rent and if not to tell me.
Yikes, this makes it even worse.
To clarify it’s not she didn’t have money to pay it, she did, but spent it quickly and had none left for rent. Even during this conversation she continued to lie.
This included deleting messages with the landlord with details about the missed rent. She showed me her bank statement, and while there was nothing too crazy, there was about £100 worth of transactions for gambling/betting.
She is keeping some serious secrets.
I didn’t know she did this. She has another bank account which she has downright refused to show me anything on, she says it’s personal.
The reason I asked to see it was to ensure a certain bill had been paid. She could show me through the company website bills were up to date, but would not let me look at the transaction/banking app herself.
Living with someone makes it much more difficult and complicated when you need to break up.
The worst part is that she’s genuinely a kind, loving person. She has always been there for me emotionally and financially whenever I need.
I think she wants things to be better but doesn’t always follow through. That’s what makes this so hard. We live together and have pets together. My life is very much our home and family, which makes it worse.
Good, this is a smart decision.
I have left the apartment and have not contributed to the rent or bills for this month as I am unsure where the money is going and she will not be honest.
I know she will struggle greatly to pay the rent and bills and is upset at me for leaving. For context the tenancy is in her name.
AITA?
While it will undoubtedly be difficult for her girlfriend, she was left with no other choice.
Read on to see what the people in the comments have to say.
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This commenter grew up with a mother who was a gambling addict.
Here is someone who went through something similar.
This commenter says that there are other issues that she hasn’t found out about.
Once she has some distance, she will see that this was the right thing to do.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a brother who is upset his parents bought his recovering sister a brand-new car but wouldn’t help him out with a used one.
What she did was not kind or loving.
As much as she may love her, this relationship is doomed to fail. If she goes back to her now, she is putting her own financial future at serious risk.
People like this don’t just change on their own, and she can’t force it, either.
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