She Refused To Let Her Brother Move In For Free After Years Of Drinking And Job Troubles, But Now Feels Guilty Since He Says He Could End Up Homeless
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You can’t help people who don’t help themselves, no matter how much you love them.
One woman is struggling with that after her older brother called following another blowout with their dad.
He has spent years bouncing between family members while struggling to keep a job and deal with his drinking.
So, when he said he might end up homeless, she still didn’t offer him the spare room.
She knows how this cycle usually goes, and she worries that letting him stay once will only bring the same problems into her home.
Read on to see what you think about this whole situation.
AITA for not letting my brother stay at my house after fighting with parents
I (25F) am struggling mentally with a decision I made about not allowing my brother (29M) to stay at my apartment following an argument with my parents.
He has a history of alcoholism and not holding a job, so it makes it very difficult on my entire family.
My dad is not an easy person to deal with (many years of narcissistic behaviors and negativity), and my brother has been staying with him for the past few months.
Prior to staying with my dad, he lived with my mom (all rent-free) and had the same cycle. Job after job after job and no responsibilities. He is nearing 30 and has no foundation for himself.
When he called, she didn’t offer to help.
I have worked very hard to have a nice apartment with my boyfriend. I work from home 3 days a week, so our spare bedroom is my office.
I think since I have an extra bedroom, my brother assumes that I should let him stay when he has issues, but so far I have not let that happen.
He and my dad had a huge blowout yesterday, and he called angry, saying he was going to be homeless, but I didn’t invite him to stay here.
I fear that if I open that door once, then he will start the same jobless, drinking cycle here.
Now, she can’t get rid of the guilty feeling.
I have tried time after time to give him opinions on ways to get his own place and make life easier.
He has gotten offended often when I try to give him advice, and he ends up in the same cycle. I love him to death, but I am so over these cycles with my family.
I have a problem with feeling guilty because I do love him and want what’s best. At the same time, I do not want to sacrifice my safe space to accommodate him.
AITA?
Oh no! Her brother really put her in a bad situation with this.
Let’s check out what the readers over at Reddit would’ve done if it were them.
This reader thinks it’s on the brother.
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That’s usually how it works.
According to this comment, she should protect her space.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who moved her mom in after her dad passed, but doesn’t want to fill the role of a spouse.
For this person it’s about staying strong.
She made the right call.
Her brother is almost 30, and sooner or later, he has to take responsibility for his decisions.
Giving him another free place to stay would probably just make it easier for him to keep doing the same thing. So, she’s right about that.
What he needs to do is get serious about changing before he burns every bridge he has left.
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