Supporting children equally doesn’t always mean funding every path they choose under identical terms.

Should parents finance an expensive year in Los Angeles simply because they covered their other children’s college costs?

Instead of enrolling this fall, one aspiring actress wants to defer school and pursue theater with complete financial support.

Read on for the full details.

AITA for refusing to financially support my daughter’s “gap year” to pursue acting, when we paid for our other kids college expenses?

I (48F) and my husband (49M) have three kids (23F, 20M, and 18F).

From the beginning, my husband and I agreed we would financially support our kids through college for tuition, rent, groceries, etc.

Two of her kids followed very similar paths when it came to their education.

Our oldest completed her undergrad, and we covered all the expenses. She is now in medical school, and we are still paying her education and living costs.

Our middle child is still in undergrad, and we are paying for that and plan to cover his grad school, too.

But it soon became clear their third child would forge a different path.

Our youngest has never been as into studies as my older two, and I have always done my best to support her creative hobbies like art and theater.

She is supposed to enter college at the end of September, but she is now saying she would rather defer for a year to pursue theater/acting instead.

She did her best to persuade her parents to see her grand plan.

She had a long conversation with us when she broke the news and made a PowerPoint explaining everything she planned to do.

She said she plans to move to LA for the year and promised that if things did not work out after the year, she would then go to college.

But there’s one big sticking point.

The thing is, she expects us to finance everything like we did with her siblings.

I said she could go, but we would not pay for it because we agreed to support our kids through college, which she is choosing not to attend.

Her mother was quick to suggest alternatives, which her daughter didn’t appreciate.

I suggested instead that she should go to college and pursue acting on the side.

She said that she needs to give it her full attention for at least a year.

Soon the accusations begin to swirl, and one of her siblings actually takes her side.

She insists that I am being unfair and showing favoritism toward her siblings because they are going the more “traditional way,” and that she has a plan and just needs time.

My oldest called and said that we have supported her through her passions and that we should do the same for our youngest, even if her path is different.

Now her husband is starting to waver too.

My husband is now leaning toward letting her go, saying, “What’s the harm in a year?”

But I feel strongly about this. LA is expensive, and I don’t want to waste money on a path that has no guaranteed return.

But her opinion stays steady.

I don’t want to pay tens of thousands for something she could do on the side or later on.

The rest of my family, besides my husband, who is trying to remain neutral, thinks I’m the one in the wrong for not supporting her.

So AITA for not paying for my daughter’s “gap year”?

Her daughter saw resistance, but she saw it differently.

What did Reddit think?

This user takes the concerned mother’s side.

This commenter agrees there are still ways to follow her acting dreams while attending college.

Acting is a tough gig to break into, so it never hurts to have an education to fall back on.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who moved her mom in after her dad passed, but doesn’t want to fill the role of a spouse.

This commenter doesn’t think her daughter has really thought things through.

These parents promised to cover education expenses, so refusing to bankroll an untested year in Los Angeles isn’t the same as favoring their older children.

Their daughter remains free to pursue acting, but she can develop a realistic budget, earn money, and share some responsibility for the risk.

A PowerPoint might explain the dream, but it doesn’t pay LA rent.