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Family roles cannot always be forced, no matter how many years pass.

For one teenager, repeated attempts at bonding have only made an old conflict worse.

A brutal therapy session finally pushed him to return one painful comment with another.

Read on to see why both sides left the room furious.

AITA for telling my stepfather I hope some guy says the same to his kid one day?

Me (17m), my mom and my stepfather have been going to family therapy (with like 9 different therapists) for the past 5 years.

We’re going because my stepfather and I fight a lot.

He insists he’s my dad because he’s been raising me with mom since I was 8.

And I insist he will never be my father and my dad dying didn’t open up the spot to someone else, and even if I was open to a new dad it would never be my stepfather because he feels entitled to it.

You can’t put a time limit on grieving.

My mom’s pregnant with their first kid right now so we have a lot of stuff going on and it took years of help for them to have a baby together.

So my mom has pushed for us to make the most of therapy before it’s too late because she wants us to be a family.

In a therapy session last week my stepfather told me he’s sick of me saying he’s not my dad, of correcting him when he calls me his son, correcting mom when she asks me to get my dad when she means him and doing the most to make sure everyone in my life knows I don’t like him and don’t think he’s worthy of being my dad.

He said he’s been here since I was 8 years old. That my parents were divorced when dad died and even if dad were alive I’d have gained a second dad, but as it happened he stepped in after a respectable year of grieving and that’s long enough to accept someone else wants to fill the role.

His stepdad was completely out of line. I can’t believe he was so disrespectful of OP and his dad.

Then he told me that he has been there, he has paid for stuff, he has tried to reach me, wanted to adopt me, became my legal guardian so he’s responsible for me if something happens to mom, has taken on everything and for that and every other reason we have talked about previously he deserves to be my dad. Not some ghost.

He told me that’s what my dad is now. A ghost. A memory. And I am holding onto the past and rejecting the present and it ticks him off because my dad got 7 years while he’s 9 in and still pushed away.

Then he said he would love to burn my dad’s memory to the ground because he deserves to be recognized instead of the ghost.

The therapist put the stepdad in his place…and so did OP.

The therapist spoke for like 10 minutes and basically corrected him for talking like that.

She told him that it was not going to help our relationship and he had fed me reasons to dislike him and it was unhealthy to be that bitter about it.

She said many stepparents don’t ever get elevated past step and some could be 40 or 50 years in the life of their stepchild.

When she asked me if I had anything to say in response to my stepfather I told hi, that I hope some guy says the same thing to his kid one day.

It sounds like they at least have a good therapist, but it’s going to take a lot to get through to the stepdad.

That really ticked him off and the therapist asked me to step outside.

You could hear him yelling.

My mom was upset and she told me after that it was such a cruel thing to say. She said it was as good as wishing him dead without saying those words.

He stated the same last session and I had to leave the room again because he got explosively angry.

He refused to apologize.

After that session he demanded an apology for what I said and he told me I better say I didn’t mean it how it sounded.

But I refused to apologize or clarify what I meant.

My mom asked me why I’d drag the baby into this.

I told her he believes fathers are replaceable so he can get replaced someday and I won’t cry about it.

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AITA?

One more year and he can move out. He needs to start planning for that now. His stepdad is horrible. Horrible isn’t even a good enough word to describe just how horrible he is.

Let’s see how Reddit reacted to this story.

All he did was throw his stepdad’s words back at him.

Here’s a suggestion of what to tell his mom.

His mom and stepdad don’t seem to realize they’re pushing him away.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about an adult child who feels like their family is asking them to donate to a fundraiser beyond their means.

Seriously, how is this guy going to be parenting a baby!

The stepfather demanded recognition as a dad, then cruelly dismissed the teenager’s late father as a replaceable memory.

The teen’s response was harsh, but it reflected the same painful logic that had just been used against him.

You cannot erase someone’s father and expect a Father’s Day card.

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Author

Chris Allen