Her Mom Gave Her an Embarrassing, Off-Color Gift at a Wedding Planning Event—Then Got Mad When She Refused to Open It in Front of Everyone
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Some people think gag gifts are really fun and a great option, but others hate the idea of them.
What would you do if your mother gave you a very adult gag gift at a wedding planning event, and expected you to pull it out and show everyone even though you were mortified.
That is what happened to the young woman in this story, and she refused to display the gift, which made her mom feel awful and get upset.
Mom really should have known that this was not an appropriate time or gift. Read through the full story below and see what you think.
AITA for not accepting my mom’s gift?
For some context, I am getting married next month.
It is good that Mom is helping, even if they do have a strained relationship.
My mom has been doing a lot to help plan. I am the only daughter (older brother went to the courthouse and got married to his wife), so this is a big deal.
I wouldn’t say I have a great relationship with my mom. I can honestly say I never have. My mom is very narcissistic and makes everything about her (including my own wedding).
Driving that far for a meeting is really nice.
There is a lot of negative in the past when it comes to our relationship. My fiancé’s parents have shown me so much love, and honestly, the love I always wish I got from my own parents.
This past weekend was the last meeting with our venue before the wedding. My mom drove up from Alabama where my parents live (6.5 hours away from me) for the meeting.
Some gifts just aren’t welcomed.
Before the venue meeting, she gave me a couple of wedding gifts from my grandmothers neighbors. She then said she had something for me as well “for my honeymoon” (yes, it’s exactly what you’re thinking).
I opened it and was VERY caught off guard by the gift. I do NOT have that kind of relationship with her. Nor would I ever want that kind of stuff for myself or joke about buying it. It’s just not who I am as a person.
Gag gifts are risky, sometimes.
She gave this gift to me in front of both my fiancé & his mom. I did not pull it out of the box, even though she said “pull it out and show!” because I was very uncomfortable when I opened it.
I immediately closed the box and put it away. My fiancé and I drove separately from my mom & his mom due to my hair & makeup trial being afterwards.
Making a big deal out of it might just make the situation worse.
I kept telling my fiancé that her gift made me feel very uncomfortable and distraught. He supported me in the fact that it wasn’t an appropriate gift to give me especially in front of them.
Later on, after lunch while my fiancé’s mom went to the restroom, I confronted my mom (and I am not a confrontational person) and told her I felt extremely embarrassed and uncomfortable with the gift.
Is her apology sincere? Not likely.
She immediately gave the “well I’m sorry, it’s just a nice gift I wanted to give you, something from a mother to daughter. I can’t do anything right anymore” and started crying (she always pulls this excuse).
After that, we went our separate ways. My fiancé later told me his mom told him that my mom broke down in their car ride home. His mom was on my side saying that wasn’t an appropriate gift to give me especially in front of them.
She is telling her version of the story.
My brother later had dinner with her as well. He texted me that night saying that she made it seem like I didn’t have to open it right there and then when that was in fact not the case.
He also said that she felt like she was in the right and felt like I was “being mean” to her.
AITA?
Mom might have had good intentions, but she should have known that this was inappropriate. A simple apology would go a long way here.
Let’s see what the people in the comments have to say about this situation.
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A gift like this is not to be given in front of others.
This commenter thinks mom was out of line.
She did accept the gift.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a bride who invites her groom’s “best woman” out to dinner in order to get to the bottom of her true feelings for her future husband.
This commenter wants to know what the gift was.
Mom shouldn’t have assumed this gift was ok.
Her mother should have known better and not given that gift at all, and especially not in front of others.
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