She Learned Her Mother Gave Up a Baby Boy for Adoption Decades Ago. When She Asked to Meet Her Half Brother, Her Mom Said It Would Be Too Complicated
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Family secrets have a way of surfacing at the most emotional moments.
One woman was told by her mother, on the very day she gave birth to her own son, that she’d had a baby boy at 16 and given him up for adoption. By her mother’s account, she’d had no choice, since she claimed the state took babies from unmarried mothers back then.
Years later, her mother was in touch with the son she’d placed for adoption, and he looked just like her and even took her maiden name.
The woman still hadn’t met him, so she finally asked for his number or an introduction.
The trouble came when her mother vehemently refused, claiming it would be too complicated.
Redditors were divided on who was right — read on.
AITA for getting upset and telling my mother “you cant tell me im not allowed to meet my brother”?
About 10 years ago, my mother told me she had a baby boy when she was 16 and gave him up for adoption.
She told me the day I gave birth to my son.
Her mother tells her giving up her child for adoption wasn’t fully her choice.
She insists she didn’t want him, but at the same time, she had no choice. Back then (late 60s/early 70s), the state took babies away from unmarried mothers.
My brother is about 15 years older than me.
Her mother recently reconnected with her son, so soon, she approached her mother about meeting him for the first time.
Anyway, she has since been in contact with him. He looks exactly like her, and he even changed his last name to her maiden name.
Anyway, it’s been a while now, and I still haven’t met him, as in she hasn’t introduced me. Last week, I asked her for his phone number or if I could please meet him.
But her mother didn’t react the way she expected.
She told me no. She didn’t want that.
I said, “But he’s my brother,” and she got angry and said no because it will make things too complicated for her.
She thinks her mother is totally crossing a line by forbidding her to meet him.
I was really upset and said, “You can’t do that. You can’t tell me I’m not allowed to meet my brother.”
She said it was up to her and said I had to respect her feelings.
AITA for getting upset and saying “You can’t tell me I’m not allowed to meet my brother”?
This sounds like a messy, complicated situation for everyone involved.
Redditors were pretty divided on this one.
This user has a major problem with how her mother is handling this situation.
There may be other angles the woman in this story isn’t considering.
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Maybe this woman is the one being selfish, not her mother.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a bride who invites her groom’s “best woman” out to dinner in order to get to the bottom of her true feelings for her future husband.
And what about her brother’s feelings?
This woman learned she had a brother and spent ten years being kept at arm’s length from him. Wanting to meet him is about as natural as it gets, and her frustration deserves some sympathy.
Still, Reddit’s split makes sense. Her mother was a teenager when she gave him up, and she’s now rebuilding a fragile bond with a son she was forced to lose. Adding a new sibling to that could feel like one more thing that might break it.
At the end of the day, it may take some time for this woman’s mother to finally see her side. And if she remains patient, her mom may surprise her.
Most doors open best when you don’t force them.
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