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Helping a friend move is a big favor, and it’s best done on a day that works for both people.

One woman agreed to help her best friend of a couple of years move to a new apartment. She told her several times, a week in advance, that she could spend an entire Saturday packing and moving.

Her job was extremely stressful, with 10- or 11-hour days, and she needed the weekend to give the favor real energy.

But despite her clear boundaries, her friend had other plans.

Her bestie decided to start moving on Friday instead, then began relentlessly hounding her for help.

Now the woman feels her boundary has been ignored, so she began to wonder if she’s wrong for not wanting to show up at all.

Keep reading for the full story.

AITA for not wanting to help my best friend move

My best friend of a couple of years is moving to a new apartment, and I agreed to help her move.

From the start, she was clear with her bestie about her boundaries.

I told her numerous times a week ago that if she moves on a Saturday, we can spend the day packing and moving, but she decided she wants to move on Friday.

Her friend seems to only be thinking of herself.

So she has been hounding me last night about going over to her apartment to help her pack after work, then texting me again today during work, telling me she needs me to come help after work.

Little does her friend know or care, she has a lot going on in her life too.

My job is extremely stressful, and I don’t have the mental capacity to work a 10-11 hour day, spend an hour commuting home, then spend an hour commuting to her place to help her move after a full workday.

Plus, I already told her I’m willing to help her on a Saturday.

Now she’s starting to question whether she wants to help out at all.

I feel it’s extremely selfish of her to disregard my boundary and set her own timeline, then expect me to drop everything to fit her schedule.

AITA?

This just isn’t right.

What did Reddit have to say?

It’s important to be as communicative as possible.

Packing is on her friend, since it’s her stuff.

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Her friend really should have stuck to the original plan.

This user thinks it’s way out of line to ask for help with packing.

This friend heard “Saturday” several times and heard it as “whenever.” Sure, moving is stressful, but that still didn’t give her an excuse to change the plans last minute.

For this friend, this has gone beyond just a simple favor. She clearly feels entitled to help — at her time, on her terms.

Good friends pick the day that works for both people.

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Author

Benjamin Cottrell

Benjamin Cottrell | Assistant Editor, Internet Culture

Benjamin Cottrell is an Assistant Editor and contributing writer at TwistedSifter, specializing in internet culture, viral social dynamics, and the moral complexities of online communities. He brings a highly analytical, editorial voice to his reporting on workplace conflicts, malicious compliance, and interpersonal drama, with a specific focus on nuanced stories that lack an obvious villain.

As a published author of rhetorical criticism, Benjamin leverages his academic background in human communication to dissect and elevate viral social media threads. Instead of simply summarizing events, he provides readers with balanced, deep-dive commentary into why the internet reacts the way it does. In addition to his cultural reporting, he is an experienced fine art photography essayist and video game reviewer.

When he isn’t analyzing the latest viral debates, Benjamin is usually chipping away at his extensive video game backlog, hunting down the best new restaurants, or out exploring the city with a camera in hand.

Connect with Benjamin on Instagram and read more of his essays on Substack.