When in a marriage it is important to share responsibilities and keep open communication.

What happens when one spouse is constantly overspending on hobbies and asking for more money, and the other is not being transparent about finances?

It sounds like a recipe for disaster.

Check it out.

AITA for telling my husband he doesn’t need to know the ins and outs of my debt if he isn’t helping me pay it off?

For context, my husband (32M) is a stay at home dad to our 23mo son while I (29F) work full time from home.

Wow, that is excessive.

He told me months ago that he HAS to have £200 a month spending money each month to get his games.

He constantly asks for extra PSN cards for stealth releases or asking me to but £50-£100 worth of toys for our son (because 1 toy isn’t enough he has to get almost the whole collection) or takeout etc.

If I say no he says things that guilts me into buying them.

Anything over our allotted budget goes on my credit card.

Woah, debt should come before games.

And after all bills are paid etc I have less than he gets each month to pay back into debt.

I got a bonus from work this month which works out to about £1600 after tax and deductions.

I am giving him £900 of that (£600 for the upcoming PS5 pro and £300 for a collectors edition of a game), he wants to get our son a tablet so I said I would give £100 towards that and that leaves me the rest to pay back debt.

Wow…I don’t even know what to say.

He asked me if there was any reason why it wasn’t more.

I told him that if it wasn’t for the extra expense of the console I would have a bit more but it is what it is.

He started getting upset saying I was throwing it in his face and everything I buy him comes with caveats.

(which it doesn’t – I have never complained about buying him anything and never told him no (he’ll even come to me with a list of games/release dates/prices and ask me to work out a way that he’ll be able to get them all with his money and when I tell him his response is “but if I need more for whatever reason you’ll be able to get me a PSN voucher yeah?”).

He’s saying that I shouldn’t complain about anything (again, I didn’t I was just answering a question).

He started asking me exactly how much I owed and stuff.

I told him the amount when he asked but he got upset that I never told him anything before hand.

Hold up, the debt is his too and he needs to know about it.

I simply told him that I don’t see what the point is because he always panics and then that stresses me out with all the questions.

Besides I didn’t think he needs to know the exact details other than we are okay (he knows I would tell him if we weren’t) because he isn’t giving anything back to pay it off he is just taking money off me for what he wants.

He is acting like I am treating him like a child and I am lying to him.

Saying I’m a bad wife and that no one he knows has a marriage like this etc. just want to know…

AITA?

Yikes, he needs to be more reasonable but she needs to be more transparent. Both need to work on communication.

Let’s see what some of the commenters have to say.

The whole relationship seems weird.

Open communication is essential.

This is a bit excessive.

Oh, the truth comes out.

This debt is just wasted money!

Get these two into marriage counseling ASAP!

Although it might be too late.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.