Making a major financial commitment with a partner requires trust. But when that trust feels one-sided, it can create serious tension.

How would you feel if your spouse promised to add your name to their home but continued to delay it for years, even after you helped with payments and expenses?

Would you let it go? Or would you insist they make good on their word?

In the following story, one woman finds herself in this exact situation.

Here’s what’s going on.

AITA for refusing to pay any more for my husbands home?

My husband (M 33) and I (F 32) had been dating for 3 years when we looked to purchase a home.

The plan was to purchase together, but my husband discussed his concerns with me, which were (1) my credit score was 650 and (2) if we broke up, we would lose money in selling the house.

He said that if he purchased the house on his own, I could be “added to it” at any time I wanted or when we got married. He has an MBA and an accounting degree and is very knowledgeable in these things, so I agreed.

At this point, she wanted her name added to the home.

We agreed to pay equitable shares of the mortgage with pretty similar salaries. About a month after moving in, I came to him and said I wanted to be “added to the house” (on any paper, I didn’t care which).

By then, my credit score was 750 and we were close to engagement. He said that it’s not as easy as he thought and the only option was to add me to the deed which would give me “all the power and none of the responsibility.”

I was upset but understood his position, so I said I would only pay 1/3 of the mortgage, not close to half. He was very upset and it was a big argument but we stopped talking about it.

Even after three years, he still refuses.

Fast forward to now, we have been married for 3 years and have been living overseas for most of that time, and the house has been rented out (the husband still owns it).

I have been paying my equitable share of items that have come up (HVAC, plumbing, etc), I have an amazing job and an 830 credit score, and I brought up the conversation again.

My husband said he’s still not comfortable with adding me to the deed, but once it is a good time to refinance (which he already did last year), he will do it to add me to the house.

Now that she’s really upset, he has a new excuse.

I understand that this conversation should have been had earlier in the marriage, but I am outraged that he clearly doesn’t have that much trust in me.

I’m angry that I have been paying for incidentals on the home when it’s not mine, and he wasn’t planning on fixing that.

He kept saying we live in a community property state, so if we divorce, it’s still part mine, but that’s not the point!

For her, it’s just the point.

I wouldn’t even take the home from him if we divorced. I’m embarrassed and humiliated that my husband is a homeowner, and I am not.

He has never made a single mortgage payment by himself but he did pay the upfront costs.

I ONLY agreed to not be part of the loan because he said I could be added to it whenever I wanted.

AITA?

Wow! That’s kind of messed up on his part.

Let’s check out what the folks over at Reddit have to say about the situation.

According to this person, she shouldn’t wait any longer for him.

Excellent advice.

This person thinks she should stop contributing.

Here’s a great point.

There may be more to this story because it seems that something isn’t adding up.

She should seek legal advice for this problem.

If you liked that story, read this one about grandparents who set up a college fund for their grandkid because his parents won’t, but then his parents want to use the money to cover sibling’s medical expenses.