When you’re planning a wedding there’s a lot to consider such as details like making sure there are an equal number of bridesmaids and groomsmen.

In today’s story, one of the bridesmaids backs out so the bride asks her niece to be a bridesmaid.

The niece tells her aunt “no” but is wondering if she made a mistake.

Let’s see why the niece doesn’t want to be a bridesmaid…

AITA for refusing to help my aunt with wedding planning and to be a bridesmaid?

I (19f) have known my aunt, Carol (40f) since I was 7, when she started dating my uncle.

I don’t see them very often since we live on opposite sides of the country (maybe 4-5 times a year), but my dad is very close to his brother so he makes sure we keep in touch.

Two years ago, my aunt got pregnant. I was super happy because I didn’t have any cousins before that, and also because I just love babies.

My aunt and uncle had been trying for a baby for a few years and my uncle knew how happy I would be to have a cousin, so, a few years ago he promised me that, if they were one day blessed with a child I would be his godmother, if I wanted to.

I was thrilled, and that was one more reason why I was so excited when I found out that my aunt was pregnant.

OP was not chosen as the godmother.

Things did not go as planned.

I don’t have the full story about this, but 8 months ago my cousin was baptized and I was not chosen as godmother.

Apparently, my uncle asked that he chose the godmother and my aunt chose the godfather, and he asked that I was godmother, but my aunt refused, saying that she was the one who carried the baby for 9 months and had to go through giving birth, so she deserved to choose both. She chose her best friend and brother as godparents.

I was a bit disappointed and angry but let it go.

Carol asked OP to be a bridesmaid.

Three months ago, my uncle proposed and they are getting married in December.

They were starting to plan and had made some arrangements, and had chosen their wedding party.

But Carol got in a huge fight with her best friend (my cousin’s godmother) and they don’t talk to each other anymore.

Her best friend was supposed to be a bridesmaid, so she was now one bridesmaid short.

For that reason, she asked me to be a bridesmaid. She said that she needed help planning the wedding and that “my creative vision would be appreciated”.

Carol originally didn’t want OP in the wedding.

I thought about accepting, despite knowing that I was just asked because she needed a replacement, but then I found out that my uncle originally wanted me to be in the wedding party, but once again my aunt said no.

She told him that she was the one who chose the bridesmaids and he chose the groomsmen.

He also asked if I could be a flower girl, but she said no.

She said something along the lines of “Stop trying to include her in everything, you’re not even that close”.

This story could be a little distorted since I heard it from my dad who heard it from other people, but that’s pretty much it.

OP declined being a bridesmaid.

So I politely declined being a bridesmaid and told her I wasn’t sure I was the right choice.

She got a bit mad because apparently she doesn’t have anyone else to ask and insisted a lot.

I then told her that I didn’t understand why she wanted me as a bridesmaid since we “weren’t even that close”, and that if she needed a creative vision she should ask a wedding planner.

I know that my reaction was a bit mean and childish, and I probably should’ve just gone with it, but I was tired of being her last option, and only being included when she didn’t have anyone else.

AITA?

When you find out you’re only asked because there’s nobody else to ask, that’s not exactly flattering.

Let’s see how Reddit reacted…

This reader thinks OP made the right decision.

Another reader agrees that OP didn’t do anything wrong.

This person thinks the uncle needs to be more assertive.

Another reader thinks OP was wrong but that it was “justified.”

Here’s a reason OP might want to consider being a bridesmaid after all.

I feel sorry for the uncle. It has to be hard never getting your way.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.