If someone has autism, does that mean they should always get their own way?

What if that includes living with a friend of the family who is more likely to let them do whatever they want?

That’s what happens in today’s story, and the new houseguest is a disappointing surprise for a family member flying home for the holidays.

Let’s see how it all plays out…

AITA for demanding one-on-one time with my mom, because her friend’s autistic daughter is living with her.

Small details have been changed. Here’s some background.

So my mom’s best friend is a very wealthy posh woman.

My mom’s best friend has a highly autistic child, I’ll call her Flower.

She leaves her daughter with my mom often to babysit.

She is coming home for the holidays.

Flower can do things for herself, but she can’t live on her own, work, has no concept of money or time, and communicating is very challenging.

So, I live overseas and I’m going back home for the holidays.

Because I know how clingy Flower is with my mom, I asked her not to plan sleepovers while I am there.

Or at least only have one while I’m there.

She kinda agreed and quickly changed topic.

Flower is at mom’s house a LOT!

I found this reaction a little weird so I started to take account of how often Flower was by mom.

I didn’t ask right out , but just noticed If I hear her whenever I called my mom.

I noticed Flower’s voice every time I called.

Every time!

Turns out Flower really is at mom’s ALL the time.

A month before my flight I asked her point blank if she told Flower that she won’t have that many sleepovers with my mom while I was home.

She avoided the question, but I kept asking and not letting her change the subject.

Flower has been living with her for the past 3 years !!

And she wasn’t really gonna tell me because she expects me to just accept it and be okay with it.

Flower won’t go home.

Basically Flower has refused to go home.

My mom and her parents have just let her stay with my mom after she has a break down.

Now before Reddit goes down a rabbit hole of why she doesn’t want to go home, I’ll explain why she says she doesn’t want to go home.

Flower gets to do whatever she wants at mom’s house.

For the most part it’s because my mom lets her drink soda and run around in hippy pants.

Her parents coddle her, expect her to eat healthy and won’t let her run around in pjs all day.

Obviously I don’t know how it is to be autistic but she has tantrums when she doesn’t get her way, and because she’s autistic she gets away with a lot.

She’s not stupid and can also manipulate my mom easier than her parents.

She’s still going to stay with mom.

I will be staying with my mom as I always do but Flower pushes buttons and can be overwhelming for me.

I don’t think she always pushes my buttons on purpose but she can be very selfish.

So I am not hopeful it will go that well.

My mom gets defensive when I ask her for one-on-one time.

When I ask over message she avoids the question, when it’s over the phone she changes the subject or gets defensive.

Flower goes literally everywhere with the mom.

She’s agreed to do one things with me and says we can do a gym class together.

This only reason she says we can do that specific gym class alone together is because Flower doesn’t like it, and still Flower has to come with even though she waits in the waiting room.

She can and has been home alone, but because she gets extremely upset my mom just caves.

I’m flying home in 3 weeks and I keep thinking about this.

My mom has basically added a a new family member and expects me to be okay with it.

At this point, it sounds like accept it or stay somewhere else.

It’s too bad mom wasn’t honest about it since Flower has been living there for so long.

Let’s see how Reddit reacted to this story…

Maybe it’s not too late to cancel the trip.

This is a harsh reality…

She should stay at a hotel.

This reader suggests changing the travel plans.

Being replaced is not what she was expecting for the holidays.

This is a tough one all the way around.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.