A long-distance couple finds themselves at odds when the boyfriend expects his girlfriend to attend his graduation despite logistical and academic hurdles.

She’s juggling finals and travel impossibilities, but he sees her absence as a lack of effort.

Read on for the story.

AITA for not attending my boyfriend’s college graduation

My (20F) boyfriend (21M) is graduating college this Friday. However, his college is over 1000 miles away from mine, and I have a final the morning of his graduation. He’s really upset that I won’t be there.

For context on our relationship, him and I met over a year and a half ago and instantly had a connection. We couldn’t stay away from each other even with the distance.

Over time, we’ve supported each other through a lot, including some really difficult situations on his end involving death and an injury.

Ah, young love.

While I always wanted to make things official, I knew he needed time to heal. Over the summer we would talk all night about what he was going through then I’d get up early and go to work. Eventually, he did ask me to be his girlfriend in a really sweet way when we saw each other in person.

So, this situation. I’m double majoring in two types of engineering, and this semester has been especially tough. I should be spending the weekend studying as I need to do really well.

I have 5 finals total all in really difficult subjects. The first one is not during finals week though. It’s this Friday morning from 9–10 AM. His graduation is at 2 PM.

According to my watch that’s…impossible.

All available flights take around 16 hours of total travel time. There are some that are a bit less but nothing even close to only 4 hours. Plus, all are upwards of $700.

Last night, I saw he sent me a message about how he really wanted me at his graduation. I FaceTimed him hoping to talk but when he answered he looked like something was really wrong.

On the outside he was telling me he knows why I can’t go but was still very aggressive about it and acting like it was not ok.

I asked if he expects me to just skip my final and he said no but kept repeating “that’s just reality.”

Yeah, bro, it is.

After going in circles with that for a while he mentioned how people at his graduation will ask where I am.

He said people he’s rejected will be there and will think, “How great can this girl be if she can’t even make the effort to go to his graduation?”

He also pointed out how others are going out of their way to make the drive or get on a plane to be there for him.

I kept saying I feel incredibly guilty and will make it up to him somehow plus watch the livestream.

Then he said he doesn’t care if I watch the live stream as it doesn’t mean anything because I won’t be there.

It’s the best you can do though.

He said he was looking forward to sharing all the graduation traditions with me the day before and after and for me to meet everyone that’s important to him.

I said again I really wished I could be there and in a super annoyed tone said “that’s reality but if you really wanted to be there I believe you could.”

I can see myself spending my life with him and really want to find a solution or a way to make it up to him. We truly have had some amazing memories and share a lot of special things. But he makes me feel like it’s all my fault when I can’t change anything.

So, AITA for not attending my boyfriend’s graduation?

She’s stuck between prioritizing her future and proving her commitment.

Meanwhile, he’s focused on appearances and tradition, leaving Reddit to vote on the fact that she’s just dealing with reality.

This person says the boyfriend is acting pretty juvenile. 

This person doesn’t think he understands how a relationship works.

This person is like uhhh, there’s literally no other choice.

Love may conquer all, but finals and 16-hour flights don’t make it easy.

If you liked that story, read this one about grandparents who set up a college fund for their grandkid because his parents won’t, but then his parents want to use the money to cover sibling’s medical expenses.