When planning a wedding, it can be nice to get help from family, but sometimes that family can overstep and become a problem.

What would you do if your mother kept trying to control everything about the wedding, and then became hurt when you told her to back off?

That is what happened to the couple in this story, and now his mom is saying she is going to where a white dress to the wedding.

He’s not sure if he should tell her to pick a different dress, or if it’s not worth arguing about.

Let’s read the whole story.

AITA for being concerned about my mum wearing a cream/off-white dress to my wedding in Italy?

I (30M, Donte) am getting married to my partner, Ethel (30F), and the planning process has been incredibly stressful.

We’re having a small wedding in Italy and a larger celebration back in our home country.

Most of the strain has come from preparing for the home celebration and my family’s involvement.

Cultural differences can be difficult.

I come from an African background, and family involvement in weddings is often extensive. My mum took a very hands-on role, managing the guest list, clothing, and other areas without much input from me or Ethel.

Ethel is white, and this cultural gap didn’t help. She found it hard to understand why things were being handled the way they were, and I found it hard to get my parents to take our preferences seriously.

Eventually, tensions rose to the point where we paused planning the home celebration and focused on the Italian wedding.

We travelled to Italy, did our tasting, trials, and enjoyed some time away. We even brought my parents along in hopes of easing the tension.

Things were calmer, though not without issues.

It sounds like they are doing everything they can to keep the peace.

Back home, we tried mediation with a close friend and our pastor. My parents were reluctant at first but agreed.

Unfortunately, it didn’t go well.

The discussion quickly turned accusatory — my mum and dad said I was being controlling and ungrateful, and they felt excluded from the wedding.

We tried to express how we were feeling, but the focus stayed on my behaviour.

The pastor encouraged better communication on both sides, but I left feeling dismissed and hurt.

His mom changed her mind.

Not long after that, my mum messaged to say that, after thinking things through, she had decided to step back from planning the home celebration.

It was painful to read.

She didn’t ask to talk to both me and Ethel, just me, and when I said wedding talks needed to include both of us, she refused.

While she has continued to ask questions and act involved, there’s never been any apology or ownership for how things played out.

This seems like it must be intentional.

The current issue is more specific.

While I was working, my mum met up with Ethel and showed her the dress she plans to wear to the Italian wedding. It’s off-white/cream — very close to the colour Ethel’s wearing. It’s not a full bridal gown, but enough to raise eyebrows.

Ethel felt awkward and brought it up with me.

We didn’t want to escalate anything, so I asked my sisters what they thought.

His sisters were split.

One of them brushed it off, told me I was overreacting, and accused me of acting like a “bridezilla.”

The other said the dress did look too white.

Honestly, I don’t think this is about the dress anymore — it’s just another example of how any concern I raise is met with resistance, mockery, or total dismissal.

So, AITA for being upset and wanting to ask my mum to reconsider the dress, even if it might create some more tension?

Unfortunately, it appears that Mom is just looking to cause drama here. They should tell her to pick a different dress, but expect her to act upset and shocked.

Let’s see if the people in the comments on Reddit have any helpful advice on this.

Mom is really trying to maintain control.

This commenter says he needs to grow a backbone.

Yup, I agree with this commenter.

It is good to make sure Mom knows the cultural implications.

This person thinks he should be standing up for his wife.

This couple needs to set some serious boundaries and enforce them.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.