Destination weddings can be a polarizing topic. Some people love the excuse to go to a fun new place. Others resent the added expense and hassle when weddings are already a lot.

In this story, one couple faces another wrinkle… when the bride’s family boycotts the wedding over deportation concerns.

Was it wrong for the couple to push forward with their destination wedding?

Let’s fly off to this destination wedding to decide…

AITAH for refusing to change my wedding location for my sister in law?

My wife and I did a cruise wedding. The ceremony was on the ship while it was still in port at Vancouver.

Those who wanted to stay for the cruise could purchase cabins, and those who only wanted to attend the wedding could board for the ceremony and then disembark before we set sail.

Right after we sent out Save the Dates, so still early in the process, my wife’s sister contacts us asking that we have our wedding in the US.

She had a good reason for her request.

Seven years ago she was arrested for theft and took a plea deal. She was worried that if she left the US she would not be able to reenter because of her criminal record (she has a green card).

Here’s the thing.

I don’t like my sister in law. I don’t like the way she treats my wife. I don’t like how she always finds a way to make everything about her.

It’s not like the SIL hasn’t left the country.

I sat down with my wife and said, if you want to change our plans, I will back you because this is our wedding and you need to be happy with it.

BUT it needs to be because you will be happier to have the wedding elsewhere with your sister present, not just to appease her.

I also want to mention that SiL been to France several times the last few years and had no fear then.

What will wife decide?

My wife said she couldn’t decide because she always gives in to her sister and knows she doesn’t have the strength to stand up to her.

She asked me to decide.

I told SiL that the wedding is in Vancouver, that she will be invited and if she doesn’t come we’ll understand.

She flipped out, but I didn’t change my mind.

SiL tried to get people to boycott the wedding for her.

Eventually my mother in law and brother in law decided not to come.

Is the bride-to-be going to succumb to pressure?

At that point my wife was going to change her mind.

But by then we had made non refundable (or only partially refundable) deposits and some people had already purchased plane tickets and hotel rooms we would have felt obligated to reimburse them for.

We ran the numbers and decided we needed to stay the course.

The wedding must go on.

At the last minute my wife’s father also didn’t attend, despite confirming he would be there and even having a flight and hotel reservation.

He just didn’t show up.

Despite this, the wedding was great.

My wife’s uncle walked her down the aisle. Our friends and my family rallied around my wife.

So it all worked out… or did it?

We all partied in Vancouver, had a beautiful ceremony and then enjoyed our cruise with a good mix of alone time and time with the people closest to us.

Once we arrived back home, the narrative flipped.

SiL is spreading the story that I intentionally had the wedding in Canada so my wife’s family couldn’t come without fear of deportation.

Ah, she’s flipped the script. But OP shouldn’t feel bad… or should he?

I have become the bad guy and am getting a lot of backlash. I feel like I’m losing my mind.

People are saying it was scummy not to take the current political climate into accountant and make my wife’s family choose between a wedding and their safety.

Only SiL has the record, so I don’t see where they are coming from. My BiL is an American citizen. He could definitely have safely come. What am I missing here?

Some amenable in-laws, it sounds like.

Whose side will the comments on Reddit take?

One person says, she wasn’t invited (by Canada) anyway.

Someone else says, don’t give a hoot.

This person has a friendly reminder for the in-laws.

Another user points out the Canadian way.

Someone else says, they made their choice.

Here comes the bride’s family… kicking and screaming.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.